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Week 33: Pushing Through Resistance & Excuses
QUESTION
What excuse keeps you from deep and consistent friendship?
“I’m too busy.”
“I’m fine…no need to talk.”
“I’ll do it later.”
“I don’t want to bother anyone.”
“I can’t let them see my real stuff, my real self.”
STORY
Brett was a strong leader with many “friends.” He had charisma, biblical knowledge, and a relatable style that let him speak into many men’s lives.
But he needed trusted core friends to help him deal with his own stuff—especially ego, conflict with his wife, image, and sexual temptation.
His performance mindset inflated what he assumed other men expected of him. His home life and hidden character cracks didn’t match what he assumed others thought of him. The gap between his public image and private struggle was growing…like an 800-pound gorilla in a cage.
His fear was not just failure. It was losing face, respect, and spiritual credibility.
The gorilla finally shrunk when Brett chose to be re-Fathered by Father God. He realized how gracious and welcoming the prodigal son’s dad was. It helped him shift from earned identity to received identity—as God’s loved and adopted son.
When Brett saw that Father God already knew him fully and still loved him completely, he finally had courage to show up weekly with two friends who had been offering to go deep with him for years.
Coming clean did not crush him. Coming into the light with trusted friends shrank the ego and lust risks he had been ignoring. The secrets lost power. His friends didn’t shame him. They helped him receive grace, face reality, pray honestly, and take wiser next steps.
That’s when friendship moved from image management to healing strength.
SCRIPTURE
“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.” — Hebrews 12:1
“Encourage one another daily… so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” — Hebrews 3:13
“Do not merely listen to the word… Do what it says.” — James 1:22
EXAMINE SELF
What do you say to yourself when God nudges you toward deeper friendship?
Do you call fear “wisdom”?
Do you call passivity “patience”?
Do you call isolation “independence”?
Do you call busyness “productivity”?
Do you call image management “leadership”?
Ask: “Is my reason real, or a weak disguise?”
For leaders: “Am I afraid of losing respect—or ready to receive the long-term respect that comes from humility, honesty, and courage?”
QUOTE
“Excuses protect comfort, but courage builds friendship.” — Jeff Kemp
TIP
When you hear an excuse, translate it into action.
“I’m too busy.” → Text to schedule a call.
“I don’t know who to ask.” → Pray and list 3 men.
“I might lose respect.” → Choose two mature men you trust.
“It might be awkward.” → Just do awkward.
Small steps of obedience beat big intentions.
CONFESS / REPENT
Father, I confess that I can hide behind excuses. I can protect comfort, image, and control more than I pursue growth. Forgive my passivity, fear, pride, and self-protection. Help me stop performing for image and receive my identity from You. Give me courage to take the next faithful step.
COACHING
Level 5 Friendship requires pushing through resistance.
Resistance often sounds reasonable. It rarely says, “I want to stay isolated.” It says, “Not now.” “Too much going on.” “Maybe later.” “I can handle it.” “I can’t let them see that part of me.”
For a leader, resistance may sound spiritual: “I need to be strong for others.” “I don’t want to burden anyone.” “What if they lose confidence in me?”
Call it what it is. Some roadblocks are real, but real obstacles require wise adjustment, not permanent delay.
Ask: Is this a reason to adjust, or an excuse to avoid?
If it’s a reason, adjust the plan. If it’s an excuse, take the next step.
Your home life, hidden life, temptation, insecurity, and fear of failure need grace and truth—not more image management.
Coming clean with trusted friends is not self-destruction. It’s often the doorway to recovery. The light exposes what’s dangerous, and it shrinks what’s been growing in the dark.
ACTION
Identify your top excuse. Push through it by telling a friend about your desire to overcome it.
For a leader, call a friend to share:
“I’m realizing I need a couple of trusted friends to know the real me, my whole life, not just the public part. Would you be willing to talk about building that kind of trust and friendship?”
TALK & PRAY WITH FRIENDS
Ask: “What excuse most often keeps you from pursuing deeper friendship or honest conversation?”
Then ask: “Where are you most tempted to protect your image instead of receiving God’s grace?”
Pray: “Father, expose our excuses without crushing us. Kill our fear of being known. Give us courage, clarity, and obedience. Help us push through resistance and build friendships that help us follow Jesus.”
COMMITMENT
I won’t let excuses keep me isolated, passive, or image-protecting.
HABIT
Name your fear and excuses. Remind yourself how well your heavenly Father views you because of what Jesus gave you.
DIAGRAM
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