So glad you want Deeper Coaching. Dig in here and let God grow you.
Week 17: Breaking the Awkwardness—Just Invite
QUESTION
Who has crossed your mind recently that you could connect with to create traction as friends? What holds you back from just calling?
STORY
Caleb kept thinking about inviting a guy from church to grab coffee to talk about friendship. Every time he pictured calling, he imagined it being weird or getting rejected. One day he finally told the guy, “Hey, I’m trying to be more intentional about building deeper friendship. Want to grab coffee sometime?” The response? “Yeah, that would be great.” What felt awkward in his head turned out to be simple and welcomed. The hardest part was starting.
EXAMINE SELF
When I think about inviting someone into stronger friendship, I:
- Talk myself out of it
- Assume he’s not interested
- Wait for a better moment
- Occasionally push through the awkwardness
- Quickly do it
SCRIPTURE
“Two men are better than one, because they can help each other succeed…if one falls, the other can reach out and help.”
— Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
QUOTE“Awkward is often just courage in its early stage. It’s better to be God-confident than self-confident”. – Jeff Kemp
TIP
Keep your question and suggestion about deeper friendship brief and clear. You don’t need perfect words. You just need to ask.
PRAY, CONFESS & REPENT
God, I confess that I let fear and overthinking stop me from reaching out for intentional friendship. I’ve chosen caution over connection. Guide me to trust You and take simple steps toward the friends you intend for me.
COACHING
Moving beyond typical friendship (at levels below Level 4 or 5) begins with intention and action.
Most of us fall into one of these patterns:
- The Avoider feels awkward and stays silent
- The Drifter hopes friendship just happens
- The Thinker plans, but doesn’t ask
- The Initiator reaches out, shares his intent and learns as he goes
Which are you? Ask God for courage to take the first step.
ACTION STEP
Ask God to guide you…then invite a friend to lunch, coffee, a walk or something you guys enjoy to discuss the type of friendship you both desire. A phone call can do the same thing.
COMMITMENT
I commit to talk about our lives with a friend each week or invite a guy weekly to connect and build deeper friendship. Undergird your commitment by praying about it!
HABIT
Aim to practice Weekly Connection with your closest friend or two.
Each week invite a friend to connect as you determine which friends have similar interests and intent for deeper and consistent friendship.
TALK AND OR PRAY WITH FRIENDS
If you already have a solid trusted friend you go to for advice, tell him who else you’re gonna connect with this week. Ask him to pray for God’s will in your teamwork with core friends.
DIAGRAM 
These five layers of intentional friendship lead to Level 5 Friendships. They sharpen us as men, strengthen our relationships, and keep us from making dumb decisions that cost us later.
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