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Week 34: Persevere in Consistency: Keep Communication Open Under Pressure
QUESTION
When life gets hard or busy, what usually happens to your friendships?
Do you move toward your friends or drift away from connecting and staying open about everything going on?
STORY
Pete, Greg and I used to huddle weekly by walking a river trail or hanging out in Pete’s backyard. But one of us had a tornado of troubles in his business and family. Often, we changed our meeting time to adjust for his overwhelming pressure and schedule. The emotional processing kept him going and he gained much wisdom talking through his situation.
A couple of years later, one of us moved out of state and my travel and family schedule changed. We resisted the drift and shifted to Zoom on a new day. We’d learned how valuable that hour of fully open conversation weekly was to each of us. We didn’t let the pressure or changes cause us to miss or drift.
Strong friendships don’t avoid pressure. They learn how to adjust. And if they’re thrown off rhythm, they quickly reconnect.
SCRIPTURE
“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another….” — Hebrews 10:24–25 NIV
“Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshipping together as some do, but spurring each other on….” — Hebrews 10:24-25 MSG
EXAMINE SELF
When life gets difficult, do I drift, excuse, or isolate?
Do I assume friends are too busy?
Do I wait for others to initiate?
Am I letting busyness or embarrassment in my life weaken my core friendships?
QUOTE
“Consistency beats bursts. Friendship grows through repeated connection and consistent open conversations.” — Jeff Kemp
TIP
Invest in your friendship through commitment. Schedule the best time for all. Prioritize being there. When you have an immovable conflict, take responsibility for shifting or changing the time.
COACHING
Every friendship faces pressure. Schedules and jobs change. One of you moves away. Kids take more time. Work intensifies. One of you stumbles or offends the other guys. Then embarrassment whispers, “Just skip the huddle. You’re busy. Give an excuse or just ignore it.” Discouragement creeps in.
Drift is normal, but it leads to disappearing and isolation. Isolation makes everything worse, so commit to avoid it by staying current and persevering to meet and be honest every week. If you miss, be sure to rebound and get your rhythm back quickly. And if it’s your buddy who misses, forgive him and call him back into rhythm with grace and courage, since it’s important for each of you.
ACTION STEP
If you’ve drifted from a core friend, reach out and initiate a full conversation about how life and teamwork with core friends are going.
Take the initiative to call your core friend(s) to revisit and adjust your time and place of huddling weekly.
COMMITMENT
I will fight drift by keeping our connection consistent and keeping my communication open, especially when life gets busy and hard.
HABIT
When pressure rises, lean in, don’t drift or pull back.
Shorten the length of a weekly huddle if needed, but don’t stop huddling or communicating from the outset about what’s most important.
TALK & PRAY WITH FRIENDS
Ask: “What are the times, things, or excuses that pull you away from friendship connection under life’s pressure, pace, or failures?”
Pray for God’s provision of perseverance, grace, and consistency in staying connected.
DIAGRAM
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