So glad you want Deeper Coaching. Dig in here and let God grow you.
Week 27: Self X-Ray Again: A New Angle
QUESTION
When you actually focus on examining your life, do you only notice the obvious stuff—or do you slow down to ask God what’s really going on inside you and underneath various issues?
STORY
Lounging on plush couches after a great day skiing, I offered my buddies a way to examine their relationship with God by rating how fully they’d received four key gifts from Father God, which Jesus earned for us. They’re the same gifts the Father gave Jesus – sonship identity, secure love, pleased approval, and purposeful calling. One friend rated near 10 in three of four gifts, but when he started to describe the reason he rated only a 2 in feeling God’s “pleased approval”, it melted him. But, it also set him free to let God release him from his “performance-driven quest to please God”. He looked below the surface and found a deficit that drove his obsession to do more and do better.
EXAMINE SELF
When you do a self-check, what do you tend to notice first—your schedule, emotions like stress, worry or anger, your body/health, or relationships with others or God?
What might you be missing? Ask yourself:
- Where do I feel off right now?
- What’s draining me?
- What have I not admitted yet?
- What area do I need to face now and attend to first?
SCRIPTURE & INSIGHT
“Search me thoroughly, God, and know my heart; Test me and know my anxious thoughts; See if there is any hurtful, offensive, or wicked way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” – Psalm 139:23-24 AMP
God doesn’t shame you when He searches you. He helps you clearly see His diagnosis so you can humbly come to Him for His healing prescription. Receive His grace and forgiveness as you honestly confess. Then turn to His ways from your own ways and walk in the light of honestly and consistently discussing what matters most with trusted friends (and certainly your spouse, and a mentor or Christian advisor as needed).
QUOTE
“A fresh question often opens a deeper answer.” — Jeff Kemp
TIP
Ponder your Self X-Ray from a different angle this week. Don’t just ask, “How am I doing?” Ask:
- “What’s beneath that?”
- “What deeper fear, lie or oversized desire is causing the pressure or angst I feel?”
- “What’s Father God trying to show me?”
- “What’s the most important thing I need to talk about with my core friends?”
PRAYER, CONFESS, REPENT
Father, I confess not asking you to help me look deeper into my heart and what’s driving me. Help me be honest with You and honest with a friend. Show me what’s really going on, and give me courage to bring it into the light.
COACHING
Self-awareness grows when you ask God’s help to examine your life with honesty. Don’t settle for easy complaints and excuses. Let God help you name the real issues beneath the symptoms. It’s a paradox of false fear that when you share the ugly and broken that God reveals to you, your friend appreciates and respects you more. That’s when deeper friendship and real growth begin.
ACTION STEP
Take the Self X-Ray this week from a new angle. Pick the part of your life that is lowest (most stressed, neglected or messed up) and make it the priority for your conversation with a core friend this week.
COMMITMENT
I’ll forego distraction, excuses and complaints. I’ll slow down, get quiet and ask God to search me, and show me my root issues.
HABIT
Before your huddle conversations, take a couple quiet minutes to ask Father God:
“What’s really going on in me today?” Share about that.
TALK & PRAY WITH FRIENDS
Ask your friend: “When you do a self-check, what area do you tend to avoid? How often do you ask God to help you examine and understand what’s inside you?
Offer a brief prayer for him and ask him to pray for you. Something as brief as, “Father God, do Your will, Your best, in my brother. Help us both see, heal and grow in the honesty and freedom of Jesus.”
_____
