A man can find himself in a season of self-isolation when he’s without someone to turn to. Some men start self-isolating because they are afraid to be real and show people their insecurities, while others let pride raise them above the reproach of anyone, living on their own self-righteous pedestal. Some have lost hope for carrying out a meaningful purpose in life and waste away alone doing trivial things to stay distracted.
Whatever the reason, it’s not too late—recognize the signs of self-isolation so you can live the way God wants you to live. To be fully alive.
What are the Signs of Self-Isolation?
1) You automatically say “no” to plans.
You have begun to no longer see the value of spending time with others.
2) Numbing yourself with solitary activities.
Hobbies are great and so is a bit of alone time, but you can’t use it as an excuse to avoid others.
3) Feeling detached.
You don’t have an interest in connecting with others and have a hard time enjoying their company—even with friends and family.
4) Throwing yourself into your work.
This is one of the oldest tricks in the book that men use to self-isolate.
5) Not being alone with God.
Are you afraid God will stop you in your tracks and call you into the sometimes difficult world of being with others?
6) Worsening mental health.
You don’t enjoy being around others and you feel anxious when you are.
7) Poor health.
Scientists have found that a lack of social interaction can lead to all kinds of health risks, including heart disease, increased blood pressure, and dementia.
How to Stop Self-Isolation
Giving up the short-term safety of self-isolation is not easy to do. But you have the power to change your mindset and stop self-isolation—and these 5 steps will help.
1) Remember that God made humans to be relational beings.
God is a relational being—Jesus came down to earth to demonstrate the way He related to the Father and encouraged us to do the same. Because we are made in the image of God, we are relational by nature, too. From the very beginning of the Bible, God says this Himself: “It’s not right that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
2) Invest in others.
You might self-isolate because you’re disappointed in what you get from others. Instead, take an investor mindset to the people around you. Pour your effort and time into them—not because you expect to get anything back (no one can live up to the expectations we have for them in our minds) but because you want to see them grow. You’ll be amazed how this transforms your ability to give others and the satisfaction it brings you.
3) Invest in others.
For one, this will remove any delusions of self-pity. You might have been self-isolating because you’re waiting for someone to notice—when they don’t, you think no one cares, distancing you further. Any true friend will take action and get you out of isolation. Telling others will also keep you accountable when you want to cancel plans. Best of all, though, sharing your struggles will alleviate the burden you’ve been carrying.
4) Get plugged into your community
God doesn’t just ask us to seek Him. He wants us to build community and bring joy to each other’s lives. Join a club or volunteer, so you can make new friends and give back. When you’re alone, you’re always thinking about the next desire you want to fulfill. Shifting your focus to others brings you gratitude, satisfaction, and peace.
5) Be intentional with your friends.
Once you’ve started to pull yourself out of your self-isolation, it’s important to really commit to your friendships. Set aside a time every week or month to get together and be real with one another.
What is Level 5 Friendship?
Are you ready to stop self-isolation and find friends in Jesus? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship to get easy-to-follow advice for getting real with others and closer to God.
