No man is an island. No guy can go it alone no matter how strong and independent he feels. God created all humans in His image to be relational beings, designed to seek and nurture connection with others. The Bible teaches us about all the different relationships in our lives. It tells us to honor our parents, form a union with our wives, and to build lasting friendships.
As Proverbs 27:9 says, “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” But the Bible doesn’t just affirm its importance, it also teaches us how to build friendships that last.
6 Biblical Ways to Build Lasting Friendships
1. Be open, honest, and authentic
A friendship can only get off the ground if both parties can be open and honest with each other. For one, you must be vulnerable to let someone get to know you—like really know you. Plus, if your friend is always honest with you, you can trust them and their words. Even if it hurts your feelings, you know it’s said out of genuine care for you. That means you’re being authentic with each other, especially when it would be easier to avoid confrontation. As Proverbs 27:5-6 so poetically puts it, “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
2. Invest time and effort
Much like training in the gym, consistency helps the friendship grow stronger—making time for each other out of our busy lives is crucial. Check in regularly, even if it’s just a text, have a weekly activity, and celebrate each other. As I always say, go through life together. Proverbs 18:24 tells us, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
3. Hold your friendship to a higher standard of kindness
We guys can be a bit rough on each other. Sometimes, we accidentally let our competitiveness or jealousy come out under the guise of joking. Sometimes, we choose ourselves over our friends and miss opportunities to be kind. It can happen casually and go without notice. But God is extremely serious about the true standard of friendship. The Bible tells us, “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” What’s a good, practical way to start cultivating empathy and kindness today? Listen actively, giving your full attention to your friend, so they feel supported and you find opportunities to help them.
4. Build each other up with praise and gratitude
1 Thessalonians 5 offers wonderful, straightforward wisdom about creating strong bonds in a community, instructing us to build each other up with encouragement and acknowledgment. It’s a great blueprint for strengthening friendships, too. Everyone wants to know someone is on their side and be acknowledged when they’ve worked hard. Compliment your friend’s efforts, celebrate their successes, and express your gratitude for their presence in your life. Simple acts of recognition can significantly deepen your bond.
5. Forgive your friends
No friendship is without its bumps in the road. Disagreements, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings are inevitable. But holding onto grudges can poison the relationship. Ephesians 4:32 teaches us to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” True, lasting friendship recognizes that no one is perfect and extends the grace God has given us to our friends, allowing us to move past conflicts while strengthening the relationship.
6. Study the example of Jesus’ friendship together
Jesus is the ultimate model of perfect friendship. He showed unconditional love, loyalty, and sacrifice for His friends. In John 15:13, Jesus says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” By studying the life and actions of Jesus, friends can learn how to support, encourage, and love each other better. Spend time together in prayer and Bible study, seeking to understand and emulate Jesus’ approach to friendship. This spiritual growth together will deepen your bond and align your friendship with God’s teachings.
Building lasting friendships is a journey that requires the kind of commitment, honesty and a deep sense of kindness and forgiveness showcased by Jesus’ example and God’s Word. By following it and receiving blessings from God, we can cultivate friendships that not only stand the test of time but also refresh and enrich our souls. So, let’s take these steps together, investing in our friendships with the same love and dedication that God has shown us.
Want to get started today? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship now.
