Fear is uncomfortable, isn’t it? It can mess up our relationships and our ability to carry out our purpose in life. Any man who says he doesn’t feel fear is a big faker. The trick isn’t about never feeling fear again, but learning how to remove fear from your heart and mind.
I know all about fear. As an NFL quarterback, I had to look downfield while huge, ferocious defenders barreled down on me. Hard to keep your mind straight when that’s happening. More importantly, I had to address the fear in my heart. What I feared much more than pain or injury was not being good enough.
And that leads me to the first step on how to remove fear from your heart and mind…
How to Overcome Fear in 5 Steps
1) Find out what you’re afraid of.
When we’re kids, it’s easier to know what you’re afraid of: the school bully, talking to the pretty girl, giving a presentation. As we get older, our awareness grows, and our feelings become more abstract and complex. A general sense of fear gnaws at us—opening up the kind of wounds we don’t like to think about.
But if you are to learn how to remove fear from your heart and mind, you must reflect on your fears. It might take looking at your life story or examining the fearful behaviors that make you miss opportunities or act out of insecurity. Even if you know what your fear is, defining it and facing it head-on is the only way to begin.
2) Be real and open.
One time in the preseason, I was thrown to the ground so hard I couldn’t remember what routes my receivers were running after I called the play. Unsurprisingly, I threw an interception two plays later. Coming back to the sideline, I admitted to my coach, “I can’t think so well.”
It took a concussion to make me honest. All too often, I acted like I had everything under control. Really, I needed to be honest with everyone including myself to ask more questions, seek mentors and improve my game.
If you want to know how to remove fear from your heart and mind, find a friend or group of friends that you trust and share your fears with them. They might have gone through the same thing so they can give advice. They could be going through it now, so you can go through it together. Or they might have their own fears. Whatever it is, you’ll know you aren’t alone.
3) Have a growth mindset.
In her book Mindset, Stanford professor Carol Dweck shows how people achieve amazing things when they believe in the process of hard work and develop mental resilience. How does that apply to overcoming fear?
Learn to see discomfort as a good thing that leads to progress. If you have a hard time being vulnerable with others, put yourself out of your comfort zone knowing that it’s the only way to grow past your fear.
In football, that concept was facing the blitz. An extra defender or two running free heightened the possibility of pain and failure, but it also presented a huge opportunity—if we could work together, the offense could get a big play.
4) Challenge negative thoughts.
Fear often comes from the bad things we believe about ourselves. Eliminating these thoughts is important for overcoming fear.
Maybe you had a parent who criticized you and made you feel small or like you couldn’t do anything right. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively of yourself, look at where those thoughts come from. Whose narrative is that?
You no longer have to tell it to yourself and feed your fearful thinking.
5) Ask God to affirm you.
This is the most important thing you can do to see how to remove fear from your heart and mind. Go to your perfect heavenly Dad and ask Him who you are to Him. You are His child and, through His son Jesus, He has given you the power to overcome fear and carry out the His mission for you.
Now you know how to remove fear from your heart and mind. Don’t worry if your fear doesn’t evaporate overnight. Overcoming fear is a journey full of spiritual growth. Be patient with yourself and know that God doesn’t expect perfection from you—He just wants a true, deep relationship with you.
And that’s something that should make you feel secure.
MenHuddle
Are you ready to be real and open with a group of friends about the fears you’re facing? Download the PLAYBOOK FOR LEVEL 5 FRIENDSHIP to get started.
