If you had just lost your wife or husband, would you concern yourself with revitalizing other people’s marriages? Watch and see a man invest in others while he faces his deepest blitz

Game Plan: 

“Behold, you are beautiful, my love;

behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves.

My dove, my perfect one, is the only one.” Song of Solomon 1:15, 6:9, ESV

 

Time Out:

Have other interests, activities or images of women taken away first place from your bride? What can you do to treasure your wife? What would make her feel cherished? What apology, appreciation and affirmation will you deliver to her?

Thank God for your wife. Refocus your life on cherishing her and making sure she feels treasured.

Go Deep:

Thank God for your wife. Refocus your life on cherishing her and making sure she feels treasured. Make a list of your wife’s beautiful attributes and write her a letter to praise, admire and thank her. Present her your note or letter this week.

(If you are single, ask God to make you ready to truly treasure and cherish a wife.)

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Have your kids called you out? Mine have. Check out the killer husband advice my 13-year old gave me.

Game Plan: 

“A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding, and she could find no cure. Coming up behind Jesus, she touched the fringe of his robe. Immediately, the bleeding stopped.

“Who touched me?” Jesus asked.

Everyone denied it, and Peter said, “Master, this whole crowd is pressing up against you.”

But Jesus said, “Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me.” When the woman realized that she could not stay hidden, she began to tremble and fell to her knees in front of him. The whole crowd heard her explain why she had touched him and that she had been immediately healed. “Daughter,” he said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” Luke 8:43-48, NLT

 

Time Out:

Like me, have you missed some moments to really notice and hear your wife? Those are missed opportunities to value, validate and affirm her. To love her.

Jesus was mega tuned-in to people. He could tell when someone touched his robe and healing power flowed from Him. You and I are not Jesus, but He wants us to be like Him, and He gave us His Spirit. Noticing, hearing and loving well takes caring. It takes focus. It takes a desire to cherish.

Like me, have you missed some moments to really notice and hear your wife? Those are missed opportunities to value, validate and affirm her. To love her.

 

Go Deep:

Ask God to help you pay attention, focus and really listen to your wife… and your kids. Give yourself a goal to hear, validate, and cherish the ones you love. Jesus noticed every need and every nuance. Imagine what it will mean to notice and cherish her. Seize your opportunities.

 

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As a leader, could you hear someone label you “arrogant” and agree to change? Watch and see what happened to a leader who heard those words.

Game Plan: (hear these words directly from Jesus to you)

“Sitting down [to teach], Jesus called the twelve [disciples] and said to them, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be last of all [in importance] and a servant of all.” Mark 9:35, AMP

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves. 4 Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.5 Have this same attitude in yourselves which was in Christ Jesus [look to Him as your example in selfless humility].” Philippians 2:3-5, AMP

 

Time Out:

Jesus of Nazareth was the greatest and most influential leader in history. Do you trust what He said about leadership?

In what ways and places are you arrogant? Where do you seek the credit and want to be “first”?

Wouldn’t it be cool if leaders were humble and kind…if they served and helped everyone on their team succeed? That starts with you and me.

 

Go Deep:

Jesus washed dirty feet. A business executive washed dishes and took out the trash. Take action. Assess yourself. Ask God to forgive your arrogance, pride and failure to serve others.

Get intentional. Talk to all people as equals and make them feel respected. Let someone cut you off on the freeway without an outburst. Look for ways to serve and make life easier for your family and people at work.

Humility grows wisdom and influence. To lead, serve. To be elevated in heaven, step down on earth.

 

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Do your kids love or dread getting in the car with you? Watch and find out how to make rides with you a joy for your kids.

Game Plan: (hear these words directly from Jesus to you)

“And now, dear brothers and sisters…Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise” Philippians 4:8, NLT

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Ephesians 4:29, NLT

 

Time Out:

Does your child enjoy their car rides with you?

Do they feel that you coach them so much on the way to a practice, game or performance that the ride is no fun?

Do they feel your unconditional love and the joy of sport or do they feel pressure, criticism and disapproval?

What would you like to hear on a day when you missed some easy shots, forgot to hustle a couple times, fumbled the ball, or failed to stand next to the coach so he’d remember to put you in the game.

Do your kids dread or anticipate riding with you to games or school? Are you encouraging them or tearing them down? Make their rides a joy.

Go Deep:

God’s message for you in letters to Philippians and Ephesians is simple:

Think about the positive. Look for what you can praise.

Don’t ever speak in a negative, demeaning or discouraging manner to your children.

Use words and tone that uplift, encourage and truly help them.

  • “I love to watch you play.”
  • “You’re an awesome teammate.”
  • “I love your hustle and the way you keep going no matter what.”

Make sure the car ride home is fun for your kid.

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What would Jesus do at a restaurant? Watch and find out.

Game Plan: (hear these words directly from Jesus to you)

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34, NIV

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.” 2 Corinthians 9:6, NIV

Time Out:

Imagine Jesus at a McDonalds or Wendy’s? Across the counter He greets a weary single mom or distracted teenage employee.

Would He buoyantly use her name, caringly smile and find a clever way to elevate and dignify her? Might he use humor to lift her spirit? Might he even shock her with a crazy $20 tip?

I can see Jesus being extravagantly winsome with a financially-strapped server at a greasy diner or dingy pub. Even His huge tip would pale compared to what follows his whispered question, “What hard thing are you facing?” Gently taking his hand, Jesus then prays for the young man…and changes His life.

If we think of our interaction with people from a selfish and consumeristic standpoint, we will be transactional.We’ll want to get more from them than they get from us.

Go Deep:

Let’s stop hesitating to bless people.

Let’s pray for and anticipate situations to bless people.

If you are afraid to pray out loud in a restaurant or for the person at the check out register, smile, use their name, and tell them they do their job well.

Perhaps you’ll ask, “What could I pray about for you?” Regardless, as you walk away, you can pray that God show His love to them, bless them and meet their deepest need.

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There’s a way to compete and win…that let’s others win too. Take a look and see how it works.

Game Plan:

“Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for you to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.” I Peter 3:9, ESV

 

Time Out:

What did God do for you when you didn’t deserve it?

Did He bless you so that you could be a bucket that stingily collects blessings?

Or, did He call you to be a funnel that joyfully passes blessings through to other people on God’s behalf?

If we think of our interaction with people from a selfish and consumeristic standpoint, we will be transactional. We’ll want to get more from them than they get from us. But, we won’t end up happy, nor will we add value to the relationship.

I want to treat people well on God’s behalf. Let’s invest in the future of our relationships by aiming to go above and beyond normal in blessing others.

If we think of our interaction with people from a selfish and consumeristic standpoint, we will be transactional.We’ll want to get more from them than they get from us.

Go Deep:

In every situation, with every person, in every interaction…out-bless other people.

Be kinder to them…more patient with them…more forgiving to them.

Be more encouraging and positive with them. Be more generous to them.

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It’s not fun to be the LOSER of the Super Bowl. Are you or your kids feeling too much of the society’s “I don’t measure up” judgments? Try out this antidote to not measuring up.

Game Plan:

“The prodigal son – a miserable loser in society’s and his own eyes] arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.” Luke 15:20-24 ESV

Time Out:

The Prodigal Son’s dad was prolific in grace and generous in affirmation! Are we? Parents, mentors and managers have much power to recalibrate a battered attitude and lift a discouraged soul. Are you paying careful attention to the countenance, circumstances and spirit of your spouse, kids or teammates? Is there a risk to valuing, honoring and encouraging someone who’s not feeling like a winner?

Parents, mentors and managers have much power to recalibrate a battered attitude and lift a discouraged soul.

Go Deep:

Have a chat at dinner, bedtime, on the phone or in the car with someone special to you that needs to hear that they are a winner. Affirm that they have a ton to offer, and they’re loved unconditionally. Remind them of their best traits and what they mean to you. Make it clear what God has done to love and affirm them as His cherished kid. Celebrate them.

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Is there more friction than flow in your marriage? I’ve been there. It will take more than crazy glue to mend differences. Maybe this week’s devotion will help.

Game Plan:

“Think about how all this [difference] makes you more significant, not less. A body isn’t just a single part blown up into something huge. It’s all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, “I’m not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don’t belong to this body,” would that make it so? If Ear said, “I’m not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don’t deserve a place on the head,” would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it.” I Corinthians 12:14-18, MSG

“He [God] makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love” Ephesians 4:16, NLT

“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” I Peter 3:7, NLT

Time Out:

Have you been struggling with how different you and your spouse are?

Apply the analogy of sports to marriage. You both have different skills, personalities and roles…and you only win when you support each other.

Is it time to fully accept that God made you different and God gave your spouse to you?

Have you been struggling in dealing with the differences between you and your spouse? Get in line. Differences are natural. Handling them requires the supernatural.

Go Deep:

Validate your spouse for their gifts and different style.

Thank your spouse for how they help and complement you.

Apologize for chafing at their differences and not being sensitive to them.

Adapt to help your teammate thrive. Helping your team helps you.

Assure your kids…tell them you’re different on purpose and you’re glued for life.

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My dad was a crazy encourager. Watch and see if you are too.

Game Plan:

“Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.” Colossians 3:21, NLT

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8, ESV

Time Out:

Dads, if we think our job is simply to not aggravate our children, we’re reading the Bible wrong. Did you want your dad solely to not aggravate you, or did you want him to encourage you, validate you, and praise you?

Our job is to give our children courage and confidence. That means we need to see far beyond their immaturity, mistakes and lackluster efforts. We need to look for the Philippians 4:8 stuff – positive, commendable, praiseworthy things.

Dads, if we think our job is simply to not aggravate our children, we’re reading the Bible wrong.

Go Deep:

Fathering is rooted in identity. Many of us struggle because our dad didn’t give us the validation and courage that comes from knowing that we are beloved sons of a perfect Heavenly Father. Look at all the encouragement God has for us imperfect and sinful people. Now go on a quest to find the good, the positive, and the potential in your children. Make it your daily goal to fill them with confidence and courage.

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Here’s a quick way to spot if you’re doing things in your marriage that make things worse:

Game Plan:

“Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 26:12, ESV

Time Out:

Take this quick quiz as it relates to your marriage:

  • Am I “wise in my own eyes”?
  • Do I think my motives and behavior are normal but that my spouse’s are not?

When I trust my own feelings and my own judgments about myself and my relationships, I am acting “wise in my own eyes”. And that is foolish. It leads to false expectations, disappointment, and criticism. It cancels serving your spouse and positions you to wait on being served.

The consumer marriage quiz exposes our pride, our narrow view of things, our selfishness. It exposes our foolishness. But there is good news. Humility leads to wisdom and God invites us to gain His wisdom.

The path to wisdom is devoting yourself and your time to reading and meditating on God’s word.

Go Deep:

The beginning of wisdom is humility, respecting God with awe and reverence.

Humble yourself and seek wisdom. The path to wisdom is devoting yourself and your time to reading and meditating on God’s word. Seeking wisdom and improvement in relationships is a request we make of God.

Be willing to examine yourself, not others. Then, you will be wise in others’ eyes…and make your relationships better too.

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