Christian Men’s Group for Deeper Friendship


Once you’ve been a part of a good Christian men’s group, you realize there’s nothing else like it in our culture.

Some are Bible studies for men; others are Christian groups based around a shared interest, like fishing or football. At the end of the day, it’s as simple as getting a group of guys together, what I call a Men’s Huddle,” and allowing yourselves to open up to each other and spend time with God. 

You might think, “That sounds great, Jeff, but I have a job and a family. I go to Church. I don’t have time for a men’s group.”

Ok, I hear you. Let me give you five reasons you need a Christian men’s group in your life. 


Men need to break out of their isolation.

Our culture keeps us busy and working toward what we don’t yet have. Even if you have a picture-perfect family life, you need friends. You probably miss spending time with a group of guys, like you did in school or on a team.

If you feel lonely, you’re not alone. One in three men suffer from loneliness, and it’s taking years off their lives. 

By simply putting yourself out there and joining a men’s group, you’re addressing a big issue that many men don’t realize is eating away at them. 


Men need a place to be authentic.

Men don’t try to break out of isolation because they’ve been conditioned not to admit fault or show weakness. But being vulnerable strengthens us. 

A solid Christian men’s group allows you to be your authentic self without fear of being deemed weak or judged for your faults.

You won’t believe the burden that’s lifted when you experience this kind of support. 


Men need deep friendships. 

By opening yourself up to a small men’s group, you build stronger bonds with your fellow members than you could anywhere else. 

Some of the best Christian men’s groups consist of a handful of close friends who have made the intentional choice to be there for each other, commit themselves to consistent meetings and deepen their friendships.

You’re not just a men’s group anymore. You’re a brotherhood going through life together. 


Men need accountability. 

We all have secret thoughts and behaviors that we hide from others—partly out of pride and partly out of shame (two of Satan’s most destructive tools). 

But once you have a group who you can trust to be open with, you can shine a light on the things you’ve allowed to grow in the darkness. You don’t have to deal with it all by yourself anymore—such a weight is lifted!

This accountability will sustain you through the worst of life’s blitzes—what I call those times of great challenges that provide opportunities for great growth.


Most of all, men need to be like Jesus

—and need other men in their lives to encourage them and show them how. Jesus is the main focus of a transformative Christian men’s group. A team of like-minded believers is one of the keys to unlocking spiritual growth. 

Not only will you spend time studying His Word and perfect example—He’ll also be a part of it as you pray to Him.

Jesus had His own men’s group during His life as a man on earth. And, with His disciples, Jesus modeled His perfect solution to all the needs listed above. 

He brought them out of their busy lives into a group with the most important mission of all time—to bring salvation to humanity. He fostered a group of authenticity, deep friendship, and accountability. And He taught them how to be a son to their Heavenly Father and encouraged them every day. 


Build Deeper Friendship with MenHuddle.

If you’re looking to deepen friendship and mutual mentoring, check out the PLAYBOOK FOR LEVEL 5 FRIENDSHIP—a guide that will help you connect with other men in a meaningful way and catalyze spiritual growth in each other’s lives.

How to Find Friends and Develop Deep Connections


We’re taught how to do a lot of things growing up. How to tie your shoes, ride a bike and throw a football… But were you ever taught how to find friends? 

Nowadays, people are feeling more isolated than ever. A striking 76% of men “don’t have a close and trusted friend they can share anything with on any topic,” reports a 2021 Perspectives Survey by The Survey Center on American Life. 

Part of it is the natural progression of life. We grow up, get married and have kids, creating meaningful new relationships that require tons of time and attention. Too often, friendships go by the wayside. 

Then, when you realize friendship is missing from your life, you don’t know how to find friends. It just came naturally when you were growing up. You didn’t need tips for finding friends. You just met kids in your neighborhood or in the classroom. Maybe you made a bunch by joining a club or playing sports. 

Whatever it was, you felt like you belonged on the team. So why leave the joys of teamwork in the past?


Four Tips on How to Find Friends


1. Join a club or volunteer organization based on one of your interests. 

I started playing sports at a young age and quickly enjoyed the bonds of friendship. I was lucky enough to play football in high school, college, and the NFL. It pretty much guaranteed a close-knit group of buddies—the kind that spent every day together and had a shared mission that bonded us through both victory and defeat. 

My advice? Pick something with a purpose. In my 30 years of focusing on teamwork, I’ve found that working toward something forges true friendships faster.


2. Reconnect with an old friend in a meaningful way. 

In the age of super-connectivity and social media, it’s easy to think we’re keeping up with our social lives. We look on Facebook or Instagram and have a superficial, one-way relationship with the friends in our feeds. 

You might think, “I don’t know how to find friends in this modern age.”

Do it the old-fashioned way. Take some time out of your day to call an old friend and find out about what’s happening in his life. Find out how he’s doing deep down.

Really, it all comes down to how much you’re willing to invest.  

Over 2,000 years ago, Jesus showed us how to find friends and develop them. He was intentional in choosing his friends. And He had strong, close friendships with them, largely because He invested in them and helped them grow. He gave them attention and help. He challenged them and encouraged them. 


“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:12-13). 


Many men have been conditioned to take as much as they can and give very little. Jesus gave, and gave, and gave. 


3. Remember that everyone is looking for connection.

All the best investors are comfortable with a little bit of risk. You will likely have to do the same to make new friends. It’s possible that you’ll be the one who strikes up a conversation at your kid’s school event or put yourself out there and invite someone out for coffee. 

You should know that the odds are in your favor. There is something called the liking gap—the difference between how much we think a stranger likes us and how much they actually do after one conversation. Good news, people are more liked than they think. 

Everyone wants to know how to find friends. Sometimes, it just takes one person going out of their comfort zone.


4. Be a long-term investor and be real. 

Most importantly, you’ll need to be in it for the long run, like any good investor. You’ll invest your time, effort, and attention over the years—everything from helping a friend move to listening to the challenges going on in his life. You’ll have to sacrifice that perfect version of yourself that you’re always trying to present (I know I did) and share your own struggles. 

That’s how to find friends that will really make a difference in your life.


Build Deeper Connections with MenHuddle.

When a small group of good, intentional friends (I call it a MenHuddle) share every aspiration and confession, our insecurities, doubts, and limitations disappear. Remember, there is more strength in the unity of three (Ecclesiastes 4:12). What’s next? Time to take these tips for finding friends and forge a new friendship.


If you’re ready to enjoy the full, transformative power of friendship, download the Men Huddle QuickStart. 

Will Daddy Be at My Whole Birthday Party? | Facing Your Blitz Weekly Video Devotion


My wife and I organized a cool backyard birthday party for our 5 year old son Kolby. I ran all the outdoor games and relay races. I had them crawling under army camouflage netting, flopping over hammocks and running around obstacles. It was serious boy fun.

About half way thru the party though, I had to hug Kolby goodbye, rush in the house, grab my pre packed suitcase and head off to the airport for a speech. Half a year later, with no prompting and out of the blue, Kolby posed a question he had been pondering to my wife Stacy, “Mommy, when I have my birthday party this year, will daddy be there for the whole party?”

Dads… We don’t have to be there all the time, or at everything event. But we do need to know how much it matters to them! We need to keep our word and make the special efforts.

You are the only dad they have and you are a champion to them. Be honest, Be real, be present, be intentional. Dads, I honor you and the huge impact you make.

Start the Healing | Father’s Day Video Series


Most all of us have a father wound of some sort or another, especially in our society with so many missing dads and fragmented families. Admitting that pain is the first step to moving past it. As soon as we do that, we can do something about it.

I learned a lot about this from my former teammate on the Seattle Seahawks, Steve Largent. Steve’s dad divorced his mom and left the family when Steve was little. For years Steve buried the pain of the wound and channeled it into his heroic work ethic and football success. Bitterness was natural…and it only increased when his dad, who had been painfully absent for decades, finally reached out to Steve one year when the Seahawks made the playoffs. His dad wanted tickets. Steve was hurt and bitter.

But, Steve’s faith in Jesus compelled him to keep growing as a person, and that meant healing relationships. Finally, a couple years later Steve initiated the healing. He approached his dad and took the road less travelled. He actually apologized to his dad for his own shortcomings and lack of respect as a son. His dad apologized as well and a father son relationship started healing from the wounds of the past. Don’t wait for your dad or son to apologize. Lead the way with an apology for anything on your end. Choose to forgive and start anew today. Face your blitz.


DeflateGate, Egos and Doing the Right Thing

Jeff Kemp originally wrote this for the Stepping Up blog which appeared May 15, 2015.

Few quarterbacks have dominated the NFL like Tom Brady. In his 13 full seasons, he has led the New England Patriots to four Super Bowl titles.  What he may lack in raw talent, he makes up for in hard work. He watches lots of game film and pays attention to detail on and off the field, which is a common character quality of someone who performs at the highest level like he does.

But now the reputation of the reigning Super Bowl MVP is tarnished, with the league recently announcing that he will be suspended for the first four games of the upcoming season for participating in the deflating of footballs in the first half of the AFC championship game.

Breaking the rules, as the NFL has claimed, may not have been the most damaging thing Tom Brady did. He may not have even been suspended if he had admitted early on to his involvement (whatever that was) and apologized to the league for his indiscretion.  Instead he allowed his agent to speak for him and deny even knowing of a scandal.

But after spending months reviewing the evidence surrounding the “DeflateGate” scandal, the NFL found enough in text messages to confidently say that Brady was involved in some way. And now public opinion has turned against him, with about 70 percent of avid football fans believing Brady cheated.

Let’s face it: if you don’t take the blame for your own mistakes (as small or as big as they may be) other people will spend their time, effort, and energy putting the blame on you. I learned that lesson in my last year with the Seattle Seahawks and gained a great appreciation for the importance of accepting responsibility. Even though I wasn’t involved in a cheating scandal or at the center of some controversy, the incident did involve my integrity.

I was the starting quarterback with the Seattle Seahawks and we had just suffered a 20-13 loss in an important game with Kansas City. In press interviews after the game, rather than own up to my shortcomings, I chose to play the optimist. “We’re going to do better next week; we’re going to turn the corner and go forward.”

It wasn’t until later in the week that I realized the damage that I had done. Eugene Robinson, a great friend and teammate, came up to me and told me privately, “Dude, a bunch of the coaches and defensive guys are questioning whether you’re a stand-up guy or an excuse maker. They don’t think you’re owning up to your responsibility for that loss.”

Their criticism wasn’t aimed at my skills or performance, but at who I am—my character. As I wrote in my book, Facing the Blitz:

They thought that, in my optimism, I’d left the blame with the team instead of taking my part in it. Not only had I contributed to the loss, it seemed I wasn’t being an accountable and trustworthy leader.

I felt misread and misjudged. I decided to talk privately to a couple of the defensive coaches who reportedly held these concerns. I told them I was my own worst critic and knew I’d fallen way short of what we needed to win. I knew I’d played a major role in our loss. … My team wanted to hear that I understood my role in our loss. My play wasn’t the only reason we lost, but they needed to see that, first, I got it, and second, I was willing to take the heat, not simply leave it with my teammates and coaches.

The bottom-line issue isn’t the results of your actions as much as what it says about your character. Whether it’s me playing down my part in a loss or Tom Brady refusing to admit even an awareness of the team fudging on league rules, the ends still don’t justify the means.

Another NFL great quarterback recently weighed in on the “DeflateGate” controversy. Brett Favre believes that even if Tom Brady broke the rules it wasn’t really cheating because it didn’t affect the outcome of the game. He was just doing what everyone else does—trying to get a competitive edge.

A common philosophy in the world, and in the world of professional sports is, “If you’re not getting caught every once in a while, you’re not working hard enough.” It’s ironic that someone as good as Brady would feel a need to do something that has so little impact on the outcome of the game to gain a competitive advantage.

Deflating your ego

Maybe an even bigger issue is what happens when you make it to the top of the heap, or the top of the league. You begin to believe the hype that everything depends on you. You may even begin to see yourself as a special case. You then justify actions that for most everyday people would be indefensible.

American society invites a pride and hubris in its successful people, and that is reflected in how Tom Brady and his agent have continued to oppose the NFL investigation. Pride and hubris aren’t attractive to the public. Pride lets you think you can do things differently because you think you are special. It’s easy to get sidetracked when you’re in the spotlight and when you’re trying to keep up expectations as the being the best. But Scripture brings us back to reality:

[Tweet “Issues like “DeflateGate” help us check our own character to see if we are cutting corners, cheating, or taking ethical shortcuts. And it’s a great opportunity to teach our kids valuable lessons about integrity and humility.”]

“Pride comes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before the fall.”—Proverbs 16:18

“Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules.”—2 Timothy 2:5

But then there’s another scriptural reminder than keeps us from pointing the finger too much at others.

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”—Galatians 6:1

My teammate Eugene Robinson helped me to open my eyes and see the impact of my actions. Issues like “DeflateGate” help us check our own character to see if we are cutting corners, cheating, or taking ethical shortcuts. And it’s a great opportunity to teach our kids valuable lessons about integrity and humility.

The above post was first seen in the Stepping Up blog, written by Jeff Kemp