Overcoming Shame the Biblical Way

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5 Steps to Overcoming Shame 

Does it ever feel like shame is ruining your life? It can be this big oppressive thing that weighs you down. But believe me, you can overcome shame if you follow the Bible’s guidance. 

How to Overcome Shame 

Based on my own personal experience and helping other men overcome shame, God has revealed a pattern that takes us out of the shadows of shame and into the light of accountability and change. 

1. Confess your sins to God and others

When we mess up, we have to confess our sins to God to seek forgiveness from Him, as well as confess our sins to those we hurt. Overcoming shame through him gives us a path that we can use to be set free. As Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” God doesn’t want us to live in shame. He wants us to be reconciled with Him and with those around us. 

The Bible also tells us about the healing power of confessing our sins to one another. James 5:16 tells us, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

This act of confessing to a “righteous person” can be such a powerful influence in your life, especially if it is a close friend who knows you and will check in on you and help keep you accountable.

2. Accept God’s forgiveness          

Sometimes we are so focused on our own mistakes that we aren’t able to accept God’s forgiveness in our lives . Remember that God’s love for us is unconditional and, as a believer, our sins have been paid for. As John 1:9 tells us, “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Overcoming Shame can be done and through God!

3. Realize that shame is one of the devil’s biggest weapons

You might think shame is just the normal response for messing up. But it’s not. Shame is not helpful. It’s a curse that makes your mistakes linger in your mind, changing how you think of yourself long after the consequences. The devil uses it to make you feel like you are a bad, worthless person and there’s nothing you could do to change or earn God’s forgiveness.

4. Remember that Jesus does not expect perfection

Jesus came down to earth. He was God in a human body. His standard of perfection is beyond your reach, and mine, but His forgiveness, friendship and encouragement are not. The devil’s shame says, “You are bad. You are guilty and hopeless.” God’s conviction says, “You did bad. You fall short, but with me you can get back on track.”

Remember, we’re not striving for “Junior Jesus Perfection” status in hopes that we can impress God into giving us a break or a bonus. As men, we are already loved by our Father God who has offered us both a Savior and a brother in Jesus.

5. Take an honest look in the mirror

If we’re going to overcome shame, that starts by answering some tough questions, like: What really controls me? What do I turn to when I’m bored, hungry, tired, stressed, discouraged, angry, or ashamed? Why do I hide secret parts of my life?

When we do things that feel wrong to us, we experience guilt. Our conscience is God’s helpful signal that we’re off-track. We can respond by confessing, seeking God’s mercy, and receiving His grace to correct our course. We move out of the shadows of secrecy into the light of truth. While guilt can call us toward God’s kindness, the devil is quick to twist it into shame, which fuels lies, secrecy and isolation. So stay vigilant and remember who you really are. 

That’s the real point of looking in the mirror. Remember that you are a son of God, and through Him, you can experience transformational change when you receive that truth every day.

 

Are you ready to overcome shame? Do you want to create a group of friends who are committed to transparency and accountability? Discover how to with the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship. 

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Why Won’t God Bless Me Financially? What the Bible Says

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You wouldn’t be the first person to wonder why God hasn’t sent lump sums of financial blessings. When we ask for something, it’s easy to be confused when we don’t receive it because we know God loves us more than we could possibly understand. A blessing is any kindness, mercy, or good thing that comes from God. Sometimes, they are things we ask for, sometimes they are things we realize we need after we receive them.

 

So, Why Won’t God Bless You Financially?

First, it’s important to dispel some of the myths surrounding financial blessings. One verse that’s often used to promote the “prosperity gospel” (the idea that God wants to bless you financially if you do the right things) is Malachi 3:10, which says, “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house, and thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.” 

 

This might sound like a deal: If you tithe, God will bless you financially. But this verse refers to God’s promise to the people of Israel and their trust in God and investment in the communal good. As BibleRef explains, “Ancient agriculture was particularly vulnerable to insects and other natural dangers, so the pledge made over verses 10 and 11 seems to relate specifically to keeping such harms at bay.” 

 

A similar qualification can be made for Proverbs 3:9-10, which says, “Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will be bursting with wine.” 

 

As a proverb, this is a general piece of wisdom from Solomon, not a guarantee from God. The truth of the matter is that God requires us to give freely of our wealth, which can be rewarded. But it’s not always in the matter or timeline we expect. More importantly, God sees our hearts. If we’re tithing just because we expect a return, how is that giving freely? 

 

Examine Your Desires

As always, God cares about our hearts. He wants us to clearly see Him and put Him at the center of our lives. For any of those expecting God to make him or her rich, remember what Jesus said to the rich man. “I’ll say it again, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God.” 

 

It’s important to remember who Jesus is talking to — a rich man who wants to follow Him. But Jesus can tell that he cares about earthly treasures more than spiritual ones, and therefore requires him to sell all he has and give it to the poor. He fails Jesus’ test and goes home sadly. 

 

Moral of the story? Don’t let your desire for financial gain get in the way of your eternal salvation. 

 

But what about if you’re asking, “Why won’t God bless me financially?” because you’re fearful and want financial stability? Jesus has something for that, too. In Matthew 6:31-33, He says, “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” 

 

Even in the face of not knowing what we will eat, Jesus asks us to focus on what truly matters— His kingdom. And He promises us that God will take care of us. 

 

Practical Advice to Understand Financial Blessings

  1. Learn to pray. Write down everything you are grateful for. You might just realize that God is blessing you, even financially, in ways you had not noticed. 
  2. Receive your purpose. Your role in God’s Kingdom is much more meaningful than money could ever be. Reflect on your story and what God asks for you. Then ask God to help you carry it out.
  3. Bless others. John 15:5 promises us that if we receive God’s blessings every day, we will bear His fruit—that is, enjoy improved relationships and become a blessing to others.

 

You may refrain that internal question from “Why won’t God bless me financially” to “How can God use me to bless others?”

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Overcome depression with these 6 Strategies

First off, I want to say I’m sorry that you or someone you love has to overcome depression. It’s one of those invisible things that no one else can truly see in its entirety and affects everyone differently. Depression can feel like a heavy fog, a stressful daily attack, or an overwhelming burden. No matter how it feels, you are not alone, and you can overcome depression.

 

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

 

6 Strategies for Overcoming Depression

 

1. Recognize the symptoms.

The first step in overcoming depression is labeling it so you can take action against it. When you’re depressed, you feel down all the time and generally have an excessive amount of negative feelings—anxiety, insecurity, irritability, guilt, hopelessness, and lack of self-esteem, energy, and interest in what you usually love. You might also see a decline in your sleep, appetite, or ability to concentrate. And you may be having thoughts of harming yourself, in which case I want you to talk to a prevention lifeline. 

 

2. Overcome the stigma.

We don’t like to open up and show weakness. We’re used to downplaying everything and saying, “No, I’m okay.” But it’s okay not to be okay. Jesus modeled this for us by praying to his Father on the Mount of Olives, saying, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me” (New Living Translation, Luke 22:24). Be like Jesus and ask for help, fully pouring out your feelings to God, family, and friends. It’s okay to need help and get professional treatment to overcome depression.

 

3. Be Kind to Yourself.

I was a quarterback before the era of sports psychologists. These professionals are paid a handsome sum of money to help athletes control their own inner narrative. Why? Because when they decrease stress and negative thoughts and visualize success, they can perform their best. 

You might not be pitching in the World Series anytime soon, but your self-talk is just as important for overcoming depression. It changes the way you understand yourself and your life. When you hear that negative voice, ask yourself where it comes from—a critical parent, sibling, partner, or boss from your present or past. Then, ask God to show you His grace for you and how to show yourself grace, too.

 

4. Think about your health.

The more science studies the body and the mind, the more we understand that the two are inextricably linked. What you are going through is real, but to overcome your depression, you must give your mental health the best chance to improve by also improving your physical health. Make sure you are getting enough sleep at regular hours, following healthy eating habits, drinking water, and getting daily exercise.

 

5. Schedule pleasant activities or events.

Depression usually grows because you can’t even work up the energy to do the things you enjoy. That’s why putting something on the calendar is so important for overcoming depression—even if it’s something as simple as getting a cup of coffee with a friend or telling someone that you’re going on a walk after work. The accountability will help you hurdle your feelings of low energy, follow through, and experience the things you used to enjoy. This can be a huge help to combat hopelessness and start to overcome depression.  

 

6. Focus on the relationships that lift you up.

It can be easy to let one bad relationship sink you. As humans, we tend to let the negative have an outsized effect on us. We focus on why we can’t win someone’s approval or learn to get along with them. Instead of fixating on the negative, lean on your positive relationships. God is always there, an infinite source of unconditional love. Plus, look for true friends or family in your life who can help you overcome depression by building you up and offering meaningful, positive connections.

Huddling with 2-3 men to encourage and equip one another can be one of the most life-giving things in your life. Explore MenHuddle now and see how a group of men can commit to deep friendship and bring each other closer to God.

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