What Does The Bible Say About Being Transparent?

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In a world that often values appearances over authenticity, the concept of transparency can be challenging. Yet, the Bible calls Christians to live lives of honesty and openness, reflecting the truth of Christ in all that we do. But what does it mean to be transparent as a follower of Christ? How can we practice biblical transparency in our daily lives? 

What Does The Bible Say About Being Transparent

Christian Authenticity

Christian authenticity is about aligning our actions, words, and thoughts with the truth of the Gospel. It’s about living in a way that reflects Christ’s character, both in public and in private. Being transparent means that who we are on the inside matches who we are on the outside—there’s no pretense or facade. This level of authenticity is crucial for building trust in our relationships with others and deepening our relationship with God.

Jesus Himself modeled this authenticity throughout His ministry. He was open about His purpose, His love for humanity, and even His struggles. In John 8:32, Jesus tells us, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” This verse underscores the freedom that comes from living in truth, unburdened by the need to hide or pretend.

 

Biblical Transparency

Biblical transparency involves being honest about our weaknesses, struggles, and sins. The Bible encourages us to confess our sins to one another and to God, as this openness leads to healing and spiritual growth. James 5:16 advises, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” This transparency is not about airing our dirty laundry but about seeking support and accountability within the body of Christ.

The Apostle Paul also emphasized the importance of living transparently. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, he shares his own experience with weakness, saying, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Paul’s transparency about his struggles allowed God’s strength to be displayed in his life, serving as a powerful testimony to others.

 

Living Truthfully in Christ

Living truthfully in Christ means that we are not only honest with others but also with ourselves and with God. It involves acknowledging our flaws, repenting from our sins, and striving to live according to God’s standards. This kind of transparency allows us to grow spiritually, as we continually bring our true selves before God, trusting in His grace and guidance.

Transparency also fosters deeper connections within our Christian community. When we are open about our struggles and victories, we encourage others to do the same, creating an environment of mutual support and growth. Ephesians 4:25 tells us, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” This verse highlights the importance of truthfulness in maintaining unity and strength within the body of Christ.

Living truthfully also means being transparent in our relationship with God. Psalm 139:23-24 is a beautiful example of a prayer for transparency: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” This prayer reflects a heart that is open and honest before God, desiring to be fully known and fully transformed by Him.

 

Ready to deepen your spiritual journey? Explore the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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Willingness to Change Through Jesus

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Change is an inevitable part of life, but embracing it can be challenging, especially when we face uncertainty. However, as Christians, we are called to view change not as something to fear, but as an opportunity for growth through Jesus Christ. The willingness to change reflects our faith and trust in God’s plan for our lives, helping us to become more like Christ in our journey.

Willingness To Change Through Jesus

Biblical View on Change

The Bible is filled with stories of transformation, from the conversion of Saul to Paul to the renewal of our minds in Christ. Change is not only expected in the Christian life but is also necessary for spiritual growth. The scriptures highlight the importance of allowing God to transform us, renewing our minds to align with His will.

One of the most profound examples of change in the Bible is found in the story of Saul, who became Paul. Saul was a man who persecuted Christians, but through a divine encounter with Jesus, he was transformed into Paul, one of the most influential apostles in Christian history. This story illustrates how radical and life-altering change can be when we allow God to work in our lives.

In Romans 12:2, we are encouraged to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This transformation is not merely a change in behavior but a fundamental shift in how we think and perceive the world. It’s about aligning our thoughts with God’s truth and allowing His word to guide our decisions and actions. The process of renewing our minds is ongoing, requiring a daily commitment to live according to God’s will.

Christian Growth and Transformation

Christian growth is deeply connected to our willingness to be transformed by Jesus. As we walk with Christ, we are called to shed our old selves and embrace a new identity in Him. This transformation is a continuous process that requires us to be open to God’s leading and our willingness to change our ways, attitudes, and behaviors.

The process of Christian transformation involves both internal and external change. Internally, we must allow the Holy Spirit to work within us, changing our hearts and minds. This internal transformation is reflected in our external actions—how we treat others, how we handle challenges, and how we live out our faith in everyday life.

Ephesians 4:22-24 instructs us to “put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” This passage highlights the need for intentionality in our transformation. We must actively choose to let go of old habits and embrace the new life that God offers us through Jesus.

Embracing Change with Faith

Embracing change with faith means trusting that God’s plans are better than our own. It requires us to surrender our fears and uncertainties to Him, knowing that He is in control. Through faith, we can approach change with confidence, knowing that each step we take brings us closer to fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives.

Change can be daunting, especially when it involves stepping into the unknown. However, when we approach change with faith, we acknowledge that God is guiding our steps. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” This verse encourages us to trust in God’s wisdom rather than relying on our limited understanding.

 

Faith allows us to embrace change not as something to be feared but as an opportunity to grow closer to God. When we trust in His plan, we can find peace and assurance even in the midst of uncertainty.

 

Want to experience deeper joy in your life? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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What Does It Mean To Rejoice In The Lord?

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Rejoicing in the Lord is a powerful and transformative concept within the Christian faith. But what does it truly mean to rejoice in the Lord? How can this act of joy shape our lives, especially in times of difficulty?

To rejoice in the Lord is to find your deepest sense of joy and contentment in God, irrespective of external circumstances. It means celebrating God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love, even when life’s challenges weigh heavily on us. This type of joy is not dependent on our situation but is rooted in the eternal and unchanging nature of God. By rejoicing in the Lord, we anchor our hearts in the assurance that God is in control, and that His plans for us are good, even when we can’t see the full picture. This joy is an expression of our trust in God’s sovereignty and a reflection of our hope in His promises.

What Does It Mean To Rejoice In The Lord?

Understanding Joy in Christ

Joy in Christ is not just an emotion; it’s a deep, abiding sense of peace and fulfillment that comes from knowing and trusting in God. Unlike worldly happiness, which is often tied to external circumstances, the joy found in Christ is rooted in the unchanging nature of God’s love and promises. This joy persists even in the face of trials and tribulations because it is grounded in the assurance that God is in control.

Biblical Perspective on Rejoicing

The Bible repeatedly calls believers to rejoice in the Lord, with Philippians 4:4 being one of the most cited verses: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” This command is not about ignoring life’s hardships or forcing a smile when we’re hurting. Instead, it’s an invitation to shift our focus from our problems to God’s greatness. Rejoicing in the Lord is an act of faith, acknowledging that God’s goodness and sovereignty outweigh any of life’s challenges.

Understanding Christian Joy

Christian joy is an expression of faith. It’s the result of trusting God’s plan, even when life doesn’t go as expected. By rejoicing in the Lord, we not only honor Him but also fortify our hearts against despair. This joy is a testament to our confidence in God’s eternal plan and His unchanging love. It’s about letting go of control and allowing God to fill our hearts with His peace.

Practical Ways to Rejoice in the Lord

  1. Daily Prayer and Thanksgiving: Begin each day by thanking God for His blessings. This practice shifts your focus from what you lack to the abundance of God’s grace. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
  2. Meditate on Scripture: Reflect on Bible verses that emphasize God’s promises and faithfulness. This will reinforce your trust in Him and fill your heart with joy. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105)
  3. Worship Regularly: Engage in worship, both individually and in community. Worship is a powerful way to connect with God and express your joy in Him.
  4. Share Your Joy: Talk about your faith with others. Sharing the joy you find in Christ can inspire and uplift those around you.

Rejoicing in the Lord is not just a command; it’s a pathway to spiritual strength and peace. By embracing this joy, we align our hearts with God’s will, finding contentment and hope in His promises. Let us strive to rejoice in the Lord always, allowing His joy to fill our lives and transform our hearts.

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How to Practice Discernment

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Have you ever felt like you’re left out in the dark with no idea of how to respond to a difficult choice or a confusing situation? I know I have. It could be a tough spot in a relationship or a fork in your path that requires understanding God’s calling for your life. Without a clear direction, it’s easy to fall into worry. But take heart. It might feel like a setback, but it’s really an opportunity to rely on God and practice discernment. 

The kind of discernment I’m talking about is not just the ability to judge well. I’m talking about the way followers of Jesus can seek God’s direction to make decisions that align with His will, rather than relying solely on our own understanding. It’s what the Bible tells us to do. As James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

How to Practice Spiritual Discernment

1. Pray for guidance

Ask God to give you wisdom, peace and patience to discern His will—not just for an answer to your question when you pray. Seeing the need to practice discernment is also an important reminder that we’re always meant to receive direction and purpose from God and surrender our lives to His will—not just when a tough situation comes up.

2. Reflect on God’s Word

The Bible is God’s Word, meant for instructing our lives. As Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Spend time reading the scriptures that relate to your question and ask God to help you apply them correctly.

3. Seek Godly counsel

Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Talk with trusted, spiritually mature friends, mentors or leaders. It’s a crucial step for adding perspectives you might not have considered, helping you weigh your options in light of God’s wisdom.

4. Listen to the Holy Spirit

Take time to quiet your mind and be still before God. The Holy Spirit can guide your decision by leading you to a sense of peace or giving you a gentle nudge in a certain direction.

5. Honestly examine your motives

Are you seeking to align with God’s will or pursuing your own desires? As the story of Jonah tells us, sometimes we don’t listen to God simply because we foolishly disagree with His answer.

6. Wait on the Lord

Sometimes, discernment requires patience. Psalm 27:14 advises, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Rushing into a decision can lead to mistakes (just ask King Saul!). Trust that God’s timing is perfect and be willing to wait until you have clarity and peace. 

Why is Knowing How to Practice Spiritual Discernment So Important?

“To err is human.” Human judgment is just a narrow sliver of experience and is biased by all kinds of selfish motives we might not even be aware of. But God has always existed and knows everything and wants only the best for us. He guides us away from the things we think we want or need, because he knows better. Sometimes, the full story behind his will eludes us. That’s why we have to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Plus, discernment protects us from being led astray by false teachings or temptations. 1 John 4:1 tells us, “Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” There are so many conflicting voices out there, discernment helps us stay grounded in our faith and aligned with God’s truth.

 

Want to learn more about receiving from God? Check out my new book that’s geared towards helping guys receive the way of Jesus for me. 

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5 Biblical Steps to Recover from Failure

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Failure. It’s become such a big word in our ultra-competitive culture. And it’s not just the word for when you don’t succeed. We’ve started using it as a title for those who lose big. And when we’re at our lowest, it’s what we think of ourselves. Plenty of events can reduce us to rock bottom. Failures in our personal lives, our careers or our relationships. It could simply be the feeling that you’ve got nothing going for you. But there is a way to recover from failure. And good news—you don’t have to compete your way out of it or earn it at all.

5 Ways Recover from Failure

1. Give yourself a break and a chance to reflect

Pressure is one of the most common factors that leads to feeling like a failure. It could come from parents, friends or society. While pressure can be good for short-term motivation and focus, it’s not sustainable. So, if you’ve already fallen off the hamster wheel of pursuing success, take it as a great opportunity—to take a deep breath and reassess your life.

2. Identify your metric for success

For guys, the idea of being successful or “a success” starts with their concept of manhood. Turn on the TV and you’ll see no shortage of “success stories” vying for your envy. It could be sexual conquest, making a lot of money or having a lot of power—or some combination of the three. It could be something more wholesome, like an impressive physical pursuit or being a well-respected man in the community. Start by asking, “Is this truly a successful life?”

3. Understand our addiction to approval

What happens when you hit your metric? Are you able to sustain it? You’ll realize how impossible our formulation of success is: “Once I accomplish that, then I’ll be a success.” At the end of the day, these concepts of success are based on approval. We’re trying to win it from our peers, our wives, our fathers or society at large. But the problem is that this approval is temporary. We have to keep proving it for us to believe it.

4. Separate your identity from your performance  

When our concept of success is tied up with our identity, we’re bound to fall at some point. Maybe we were the fastest runner one day, but not the next. What happens when our identity is based on being the fastest? Or being the best husband? Or the best Christian? We crumble and feel like a failure. 

5. Receive your identity from God

The big transformation happens when you receive your true identity as a son from God. You live from it rather than for it. Instead of being stuck in an approval feedback loop, you’re on a journey to find your purpose, become secure in who you are, and make a positive impact. It’s figuring out how to be faithful and true, loyal, honest, trustworthy and authentic.

How do you receive it? Simply by having a personal relationship with God. As you get closer, you’ll become more like Him. But there’s no pressure to keep it up or pedestal to fall from—because you know all the power comes only from Him. It transcends any idea of “success or failure,” as validation (or lack thereof) for your life. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone anymore. In fact, you’re really giving up your life to enjoy the greatest success possible. As Jesus says in Matthew 16:25, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of me will find it.”

Here’s an additional tip: Remember, only Jesus was perfect. You’re going to fail. You might drift away from your true identity and fall into the world’s metrics for your success. You’ll puff yourself up when you perform well and feel low when you don’t. But when you get back to focusing on God, you’ll remember life is not about achieving success—and you’ll recover from any failure.  

 

Want to bring God and His transformative process into your friendships? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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The Importance of Trust in Friendship

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Most guys don’t really like to talk about their feelings. Trust in their friendships usually falls into that category, too. But it’s worth talking about because trust is one of the most important aspects of maintaining a long, deep, mutually beneficial friendship with open communication and to show importance of trust in friendship…that is to say, a true friend.

Why is Trust So Important in Friendship?

Here are five ways trust creates the foundation for good friendship. 

1. Reliable

As a QB in the NFL, there was a whole lot of trust involved for a successful play. Trusting that the offensive line would hold up. Trusting that a wide receiver would be at the right spot at the right at the right time so I could throw with anticipation. For my part, my line trusted me to get the ball out as soon as I could. And receivers trusted that I would put the ball on their chest so they could go over the middle without exposing their body to shots from linebackers. 

That’s exactly how it is for friends, too. You need to start with a clear idea of what you expect from each other and then do what you say. Practically speaking, that means getting intentional about your friendship and not canceling on plans—even if it’s just a phone call and you’re tired from working or taking care of the kids.

2. Grace

On the other hand, trust allows you to give friends forgiveness when they mess up or wrong you in some way, however small. Deep down, you know the other person just wants what’s best for you and will try to treat you how you want to be treated. Many friendships are ruined by little resentments that build up along the way which shows the importance of trust in friendship.

3. Discreet

For men to overcome their sinful behaviors, they need to be able to shed light on it—without it becoming everyone’s business. Telling a friend about your struggles is a great way to break out of the shame that keeps you stuck in a destructive pattern while introducing accountability to your life. But all that goes out the window if you can’t trust your friend to handle sensitive private matters with the proper discretion. The importance of trust in friendship is key to opening up to a friend.

4. Honesty

When there is real trust in a friendship, either person feels they can share their perspective about anything without worrying that the other will respond negatively—like acting defensive, dismissive, combative or vengeful. This is so important for two reasons. For one, each friend can feel like they can truly express themselves. And sometimes you really need a friend to be honest with you. They can help you fill in a blind spot of your self-awareness or point out prideful or sinful behavior.

5. Depth

The honesty that comes with a trusting friendship is the only way to have deep, meaningful conversations consistently. It will bring joy, wisdom and understanding to your life. And it’s the kind of friendship that God can use to bring both of you closer to Him.   

 

Ready to develop trust and enjoy these key elements of real friendship? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

 

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Learning to Pray: 10 Thought-Starters On Praying Effectively

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Prayer is an essential part of our day as believers and our spiritual journey. It’s the way we talk to God. And it leads to God working in our lives and in the world. But even when you’ve set aside time, it’s not always easy to know how to pray effectively. 

What should I say? Is God really listening? These are some of the questions that can invade your mind when you start to pray. 

10 Tips to Pray Effectively 


1. Have faith

It can be hard to speak or think towards God when you can’t feel His presence. But you can’t wait for His presence to call out to Him. If we could see God or hear His voice out loud, if He explained every detail and answered every question and prayer immediately, it would no longer require faith. It would take no trust and no relationship. And that’s what God is looking for in His sons and daughters. 

2. Learning to pray daily

When we’re immature in our spiritual journey, we only pray to God when we’re in trouble or we want something. Of course, God loves to help us and give us gifts. But can you imagine how you would feel if your friend or son called you once a year just to ask you for something? We pray daily to build our relationship with God and get closer to Him. And learning to pray effectively helps us get closer to him.

3. Listen

Whenever I’m reading or studying the Bible, or using a devotion book, I ask the Father what He wants to say to me. I highlight the words and phrases that speak to me, and put bullet points in the margins for messages, principles or prayers He gives me. I use a journal to ask God questions and prayer I’m waiting for an answer to. 

4. Follow Jesus’s example

Jesus based his earthly life on connecting to and receiving love from His Father. He invested time in His relationship with His Father in knowing Scripture and in getting alone for solitude and prayer. He humbly chose to be publicly baptized by His cousin John and courageously chose to face the most intense temptation during 40 days in the wilderness.

5. Follow Jesus’ teaching

Jesus taught people to connect to His Father’s presence and love in prayer by learning to pray. During his most comprehensive recorded teaching (called the Sermon on the Mount), Jesus gave an invitation to all of us to connect directly to God and told us how to pray effectively. First off, He tells us what not to do. 

6. How not to pray

During his teaching, Jesus tells us not to pray in public or to babble like pagans, but to pray in secret instead. Basically, Jesus is advising us to make sure we’re praying for the right reasons—not to be thinking about how we’re viewed by others or by ourselves. It’s an easy trap to fall into, bringing you down the pitfalls of self-righteousness. Learning to pray helps us avoid how not to pray.

7. How to pray effectively

Jesus goes on to tell us how we should pray by teaching us the Lord’s Prayer. If you grew up going to church, you likely know the prayer well. But if you break down the elements of the prayer, you can follow Jesus’ directions in a more conversational way, instead of just reciting words to God. 

First, Jesus recognizes God as His Father. He gives up his own plans for the future to rely on God’s will, His perfect plan. That also includes our trust in God to take care of us (our daily bread) and His protection of us from temptation and Satan. Finally, He tells us to seek forgiveness from God, but to make sure we’ve forgiven others before we do so. 

8. Forgive others before asking for forgiveness for yourself

After teaching the prayer, Jesus advises, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others for their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

9. Put God in charge

Let’s go back to that second point of the Lord’s prayer: “Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” We must stop striving to run our lives and start taking the greatest step of all, to turn over ownership to God. The work to move me out of the way so God will work is prayer. Prayer is the greatest work because it invites God to do the work.

10. Learning to pray rightly

Understanding and learning God’s will is key to praying effectively. It shows us what is worth praying for, because it’s within God’s will. It could be asking God for an opportunity to bless others or share His gospel. Whatever it is, it will be something that brings glory to God.

 

Want to take these prayers into your friendships? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

 

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How To Surrender To God

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We all strive for certainty in our lives. Beginning with aspirations, we chart our course, seeking command over our destinies. And guys especially don’t like to admit we’re lost and need help. That stereotype of the man who doesn’t ask for directions exists for a reason. (I, for one, am glad we have GPS on our phones now). Men are also trained never to give up. Never surrender. Of course, persistence and bravery are important traits, but that masculine emphasis works against us when surrendering to God. 

With God, surrendering is good. Learn how to surrender your life to God, through knowing Him, committing yourself to Him and making room for Him in your life. 

Learn How to Surrender to God

1. Realize that God has a better way

It’s not easy to surrender your identity, dreams, ambitions and control of your life. The world would tell you that this is all you have. As Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

If you’re a Christian, you’ve realized that God has given you a better way. Your self-worth doesn’t have to be tied to whether you achieve everything you dreamt up. You don’t have to worry about dying because Jesus sacrificed Himself to give you everlasting life. 

2. Commit your life to Christ

Jesus doesn’t sugarcoat it. If you want to follow His better way, you have to surrender to Him. In Luke 9:23, He says, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?”

If you haven’t committed yourself to Christ yet, I encourage you to do that today. It will change your life. But the surrendering isn’t over for us believers, just because we’ve committed ourselves to Christ. We must remember to “deny ourselves” daily, surrendering what we want for what really matters. 

3. Ask God what you need to surrender to Him

This is a really practical exercise to regularly bring into your prayer time with Jesus—because it’s easy to say and think you’ve surrendered yourself to God without realizing there are things you’re holding onto. Here’s a totally, non-exhaustive list of things that you (and I) might need help surrendering to God. 

  • Identity and ego
  • Bitterness, jealousy, grudges or regret
  • Your dreams
  • Trust in yourself
  • The lies you tell yourself 
  • Need for control 
  • Your sin 
  • You pride

Take this list and pray to God, asking Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit, whose transformative power will help you let go. You’ll be amazed. Sometimes what seems to be the most trivial things can be the clues to pride and need for control.

4. Receive blessings from God

Surrender is not about losing. It’s giving up everything to make room for God to make your life full of meaning and joy. As Paul explains in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

When you surrender, God can work through you, bringing the fruits of the spirit to your life—better relationships and peace. You receive your true identity as a son of God, eliminating the pressure to achieve dreams or be successful. You realize that surrendering is not a vulnerable act. It’s the safest thing you can do. 

5. Look to Jesus who surrendered everything to God

Whenever you need support, you can look at the perfect example that Jesus laid out for us during His time as a man on earth. Jesus surrendered His status to God as Philippians 2:6-7 describes: “Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant being made in human likeness.” 

In the end, He surrendered everything. As verse 8 concludes. “He humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!” You know the best part? You don’t have to simply study His life and hope. You can pray to Jesus every day and He offers guidance and wisdom as you surrender to God. 

 

Start finding your identity in Christ. It can start with you and a 2-3 deep friends. Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship to learn how.

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Overcoming Shame the Biblical Way

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5 Steps to Overcoming Shame 

Does it ever feel like shame is ruining your life? It can be this big oppressive thing that weighs you down. But believe me, you can overcome shame if you follow the Bible’s guidance. 

How to Overcome Shame 

Based on my own personal experience and helping other men overcome shame, God has revealed a pattern that takes us out of the shadows of shame and into the light of accountability and change. 

1. Confess your sins to God and others

When we mess up, we have to confess our sins to God to seek forgiveness from Him, as well as confess our sins to those we hurt. Overcoming shame through him gives us a path that we can use to be set free. As Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” God doesn’t want us to live in shame. He wants us to be reconciled with Him and with those around us. 

The Bible also tells us about the healing power of confessing our sins to one another. James 5:16 tells us, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

This act of confessing to a “righteous person” can be such a powerful influence in your life, especially if it is a close friend who knows you and will check in on you and help keep you accountable.

2. Accept God’s forgiveness          

Sometimes we are so focused on our own mistakes that we aren’t able to accept God’s forgiveness in our lives . Remember that God’s love for us is unconditional and, as a believer, our sins have been paid for. As John 1:9 tells us, “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Overcoming Shame can be done and through God!

3. Realize that shame is one of the devil’s biggest weapons

You might think shame is just the normal response for messing up. But it’s not. Shame is not helpful. It’s a curse that makes your mistakes linger in your mind, changing how you think of yourself long after the consequences. The devil uses it to make you feel like you are a bad, worthless person and there’s nothing you could do to change or earn God’s forgiveness.

4. Remember that Jesus does not expect perfection

Jesus came down to earth. He was God in a human body. His standard of perfection is beyond your reach, and mine, but His forgiveness, friendship and encouragement are not. The devil’s shame says, “You are bad. You are guilty and hopeless.” God’s conviction says, “You did bad. You fall short, but with me you can get back on track.”

Remember, we’re not striving for “Junior Jesus Perfection” status in hopes that we can impress God into giving us a break or a bonus. As men, we are already loved by our Father God who has offered us both a Savior and a brother in Jesus.

5. Take an honest look in the mirror

If we’re going to overcome shame, that starts by answering some tough questions, like: What really controls me? What do I turn to when I’m bored, hungry, tired, stressed, discouraged, angry, or ashamed? Why do I hide secret parts of my life?

When we do things that feel wrong to us, we experience guilt. Our conscience is God’s helpful signal that we’re off-track. We can respond by confessing, seeking God’s mercy, and receiving His grace to correct our course. We move out of the shadows of secrecy into the light of truth. While guilt can call us toward God’s kindness, the devil is quick to twist it into shame, which fuels lies, secrecy and isolation. So stay vigilant and remember who you really are. 

That’s the real point of looking in the mirror. Remember that you are a son of God, and through Him, you can experience transformational change when you receive that truth every day.

 

Are you ready to overcome shame? Do you want to create a group of friends who are committed to transparency and accountability? Discover how to with the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship. 

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Why Men Need Friendship With Jesus

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The Bible tells us the many ways God relates to us. Some emphasize God as a Creator, others as a protector or a heavenly Father. God also wants to be your friend. Men need friendship with Jesus in order to become the men, fathers and husbands He created them to be.

 

First, I want to paint to paint a picture of a friend. It might seem a little silly, but the Merriam-Webster definition feels a little flat to me. It calls a friend “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.”

 

Sure, that might be some “friends,” but it doesn’t get to the heart of what I’m talking about, or what God wants. I’m talking about a true friend. Someone you can be yourself around, someone who’s always there for you, someone who you share everything with as you go through life together. 

 

3 Reasons Why You Need Friendship with Jesus

1. God desires friendship with you.

How much does God want a friendship with you? He did the unthinkable to make it happen. He sent his son Jesus to earth as a man who sacrificed His life to restore humanity’s personal relationship with God—no longer needing a sacrifice or priest to speak on our behalf. We please God when we do what He desires and pursue a friendship with Jesus. 

 

2. Friendship with Jesus creates accountability.

A great friend will help you raise your standard of manhood by telling when you’re out of line and supporting you to become a better person. It’s the same for friends of Jesus. In John 15:4, Jesus tells his disciples, “You are my friends if you do what I command you.” To be a true friend of Jesus, we have to raise our game and follow the example He set—and apologize when we don’t meet it. When we do, Jesus is there to forgive, instruct and support. Think of Peter. Even after he forsook Jesus three times, he was reconciled with Him and was “the rock” Jesus built the church on. 

 

3. Friendship with Jesus adds SO much to our lives.

It’s impossible to overstate its effects. Jesus is the perfect friend, providing love, comfort, assurances and encouragement. He treats us like a friend by teaching and showing us things about spiritual life. In John 15:15, He says, “I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.” When you are friends with Jesus, your earthly ambitions fall away. You’ll start to feel secure and at peace, while Jesus shows you how to use your talents and abilities to further His Kingdom. 

 

How to Build Friendship With Jesus

  • Spend time with Jesus one-on-one. Just like the best friendships, you need to have time with together to build a personal, intimate friendship. Set aside time every day to speak and, importantly, listen to Jesus.
  • Study His Word. Read the Bible so you know what Jesus expects of us, so you can obey Him. 
  • Spend time with Jesus with your friends. Invite Jesus to spend time with you and your close friends. Let Him bring you closer than ever before as you follow His perfect example. Not sure how to start? Download the Playbook For Level 5 Friendship.

 

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