Our attitudes play a significant role in how we navigate life’s challenges and interact with others. Negative attitude problems can lead to strained relationships, missed opportunities, and a sense of dissatisfaction. However, the Bible offers clear guidance on how to address and correct attitude problems, helping us align our hearts and minds with God’s will.

By turning to Scripture, we can find the wisdom and strength needed to adjust our attitudes and live in a way that reflects Christ’s love and humility.

Understanding Attitude Problems Through Scripture

Christian Attitude Adjustment

The process of adjusting our attitudes begins with a willingness to submit our hearts to God. A Christian attitude adjustment involves recognizing when our thoughts and behaviors are out of line with God’s teachings and making a conscious effort to change. In Philippians 2:5 (NLT), we are encouraged to “Have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” This call to emulate Christ’s attitude challenges us to approach life with humility, compassion, and a spirit of service.

When we face attitude problems, it’s important to examine the root causes. Often, negative attitudes stem from pride, selfishness, or unresolved hurt. By bringing these issues before God in prayer, we invite Him to work in our hearts, softening our attitudes and helping us adopt a more Christ-like perspective. This process of attitude adjustment is ongoing and requires daily reliance on the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts and actions.

Biblical Solutions to Attitude Problems

The Bible provides practical solutions to overcoming attitude problems, emphasizing the importance of humility, gratitude, and love. Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT) instructs us, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” This passage highlights the need to actively remove negative attitudes and replace them with positive, Christ-centered behaviors.

Gratitude is a powerful tool in adjusting our attitudes. When we focus on the blessings in our lives, it becomes easier to let go of negativity and embrace a more positive outlook. Colossians 3:15 (NLT) encourages us, “And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” Cultivating a habit of gratitude shifts our focus from what’s wrong in our lives to the goodness and grace that God continually provides.

Forgiveness is another essential component in addressing attitude problems. Holding onto grudges or harboring resentment can poison our hearts and minds, leading to a negative outlook. By choosing to forgive others, we free ourselves from the burden of bitterness and open our hearts to God’s healing. Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT) reminds us, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Fixing Attitude Problems

Fixing attitude problems requires both self-awareness and a commitment to spiritual growth. It’s important to regularly reflect on our attitudes and ask ourselves whether they align with God’s teachings. This self-examination allows us to identify areas where we need to improve and take steps toward positive change.

Prayer and meditation on Scripture are essential practices for fixing attitude problems. By immersing ourselves in God’s Word and seeking His guidance through prayer, we allow the Holy Spirit to renew our minds and transform our attitudes. Romans 12:2 (NLT) encourages us, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

 

As we work on fixing our attitude problems, we must also be patient with ourselves, understanding that change takes time. With God’s help, we can develop a more positive, Christ-like attitude that honors Him and blesses those around us.

 

Ready to transform your attitude through faith? Explore the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

In today’s fast-paced world, the concept of rest is often overlooked or misunderstood. Many of us equate rest with mere physical relaxation, but the Bible offers a much deeper perspective on what it truly means to rest. Understanding the biblical meaning of rest is essential for living a balanced and fulfilling life that honors God.

Biblical rest encompasses not only physical rejuvenation but also spiritual renewal and finding peace in God’s presence. 

What Does The Bible Say About Rest?

Spiritual Rest in Christ

Rest, as defined in the Bible, goes beyond simply taking a break from our daily activities. It is about finding spiritual rest in Christ, where our souls can find peace and solace amidst life’s challenges. Jesus invites us into this rest in Matthew 11:28-29 (NLT): “Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'” This passage reminds us that true rest is found in Jesus, where our burdens are lifted, and our souls are refreshed.

Spiritual rest involves surrendering our worries and anxieties to Christ, trusting that He is in control. It’s about letting go of the pressures of life and allowing God to renew our strength. When we rest in Christ, we experience a sense of peace that transcends our circumstances, knowing that our lives are in His hands.

Rest in God’s Presence

Resting in God’s presence is central to the biblical concept of rest. It’s not just about physical cessation from work but also about spending time with God, allowing His presence to restore our spirits. Psalm 62:1 (NLT) captures this beautifully: “I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him.” This verse emphasizes the importance of quieting our minds and hearts before God, finding rest in His presence.

In a world that constantly demands our attention, it can be difficult to find moments of stillness. However, the Bible encourages us to seek out these moments, to retreat from the busyness of life and spend time with God. By doing so, we allow Him to speak into our lives, to comfort us, and to guide us. Resting in God’s presence is a way of realigning our focus, ensuring that our lives are centered on Him rather than on the distractions of the world.

The Meaning of Rest in the Bible

The Bible’s teaching on rest extends back to the very beginning, with the concept of Sabbath. In Genesis 2:2-3 (NLT), we read, “On the seventh day, God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation.” This passage highlights the importance of setting aside time to rest, as even God rested after His work of creation.

The Sabbath is a model for us, showing that rest is not just necessary but holy. It is a time to step back from our labors, reflect on God’s goodness, and rejuvenate our bodies and spirits. The meaning of rest in the Bible is deeply connected to our relationship with God—it is a time to honor Him, to acknowledge our dependence on Him, and to renew our covenant with Him.

In the New Testament, the concept of rest is expanded to include the spiritual rest that believers find in Christ. Hebrews 4:9-10 (NLT) explains, “So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world.” This rest is not only physical but also a spiritual rest that comes from trusting in the finished work of Christ on the cross.

 

Looking for peace and rest in your life? Discover how to find it in Christ with the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

What The Bible Says About Relationships and Health
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Our relationships have a profound impact on our overall health—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The Bible offers wisdom on how we can cultivate healthy relationships that promote well-being in every aspect of our lives. Understanding the connection between our relationships and our health is essential for living a balanced and fulfilling life.

The Bible not only highlights the importance of maintaining healthy relationships but also shows us how these connections can influence our spiritual and physical health.

What The Bible Says About Relationships and Health

Faith and Well-being

Faith plays a crucial role in shaping our relationships and, consequently, our well-being. When our relationships are rooted in faith, they bring peace, support, and encouragement, all of which contribute to our overall health. Proverbs 17:22 (NLT) tells us, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” This verse emphasizes the importance of a positive, faith-filled heart in maintaining good health. Relationships that nurture a cheerful heart, grounded in faith, can act as a form of medicine for our souls, promoting both emotional and physical well-being.

Healthy Christian Relationships

Healthy Christian relationships are built on love, trust, and mutual respect. They provide a safe space for us to grow spiritually and emotionally, allowing us to thrive in all areas of our lives. Ephesians 4:2-3 (NLT) encourages us to “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” These principles guide us in maintaining relationships that are not only supportive but also aligned with God’s will.

When we cultivate healthy Christian relationships, we create an environment where both we and those around us can flourish. These relationships are marked by forgiveness, understanding, and a shared commitment to living according to God’s word. As we grow closer to one another through these bonds, we also grow closer to God, experiencing His love more fully through our interactions with others.

Spiritual and Physical Health Connection

The Bible clearly illustrates the connection between our spiritual and physical health. A strong spiritual life, supported by healthy relationships, contributes to our overall well-being. 3 John 1:2 (NLT) expresses this connection: “Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.” This verse underscores the importance of both physical and spiritual health, suggesting that the two are intertwined.

When our relationships are strong and grounded in faith, they contribute to our physical health by reducing stress, promoting positive emotions, and encouraging healthy behaviors. Conversely, toxic or strained relationships can lead to emotional turmoil, which can negatively impact our physical health. The Bible’s teachings on love, forgiveness, and community help us build relationships that support both our spiritual growth and physical well-being.

 

In essence, the health of our relationships is a reflection of our spiritual health. By prioritizing God-centered relationships, we can create a life that is balanced, fulfilling, and aligned with God’s design for us.

 

Ready to strengthen your relationships and improve your well-being? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

Friendships are a vital part of our lives, offering support, joy, and companionship. However, building and maintaining strong, meaningful friendships can sometimes be challenging. As Christians, we are called to build friendships that reflect the love of Christ, rooted in biblical principles and strengthened by faith.

True Christian friendships go beyond surface-level interactions, fostering deep connections that encourage spiritual growth and mutual support. These friendships are essential not only for our personal well-being but also for our spiritual journey, as they help us live out our faith in community with others.

How To Build Better Friendships

Biblical Friendship Principles

The Bible provides clear guidance on how to cultivate and maintain strong, healthy friendships. Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) states, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” This verse highlights the importance of mutual support and growth in friendships. A true friendship encourages both individuals to grow in their faith and character, sharpening one another in their walk with God.

Building better friendships starts with embodying Christ-like qualities such as kindness, patience, and forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) reminds us, “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” These qualities are essential in fostering relationships that are not only strong but also reflective of God’s love and grace.

Christian Friendship Guidance

Christian friendship goes beyond casual acquaintance; it is a deep, spiritual connection grounded in shared faith and mutual encouragement. The Apostle Paul often emphasized the importance of building one another up within the body of Christ. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT), he writes, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

To build better friendships, it’s important to be intentional in our actions and words. This means taking the time to listen, offering support during difficult times, and celebrating the joys and successes of our friends. Christian friendship also involves accountability, where we lovingly challenge each other to grow in our faith and live according to God’s will.

Strengthening Relationships in Faith

Strengthening friendships through faith involves regularly bringing your relationship before God. Praying together and for each other is a powerful way to deepen your bond and invite God’s presence into your friendship. James 5:16 (NLT) encourages us, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”

Additionally, participating in shared spiritual practices, such as Bible study or worship, can strengthen your connection with one another. These activities not only enhance your personal faith but also create a shared experience that deepens your friendship.

It’s also important to extend grace and understanding in friendships. No one is perfect, and misunderstandings or conflicts can arise. By approaching these situations with humility and a willingness to forgive, you can navigate challenges without damaging the relationship. Colossians 3:13 (NLT) advises, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

 

Building better friendships is a continuous process that requires effort, patience, and, most importantly, a heart aligned with God’s love. By following biblical principles and allowing your faith to guide your actions, you can cultivate friendships that are not only strong but also deeply rooted in Christ.

 

Want to grow deeper in your friendships? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

Ego can be one of the biggest obstacles to spiritual growth. It creates a barrier between us and God, hindering our ability to fully surrender to His will. But how can we rid ourselves of this ego and embrace the humility that Christ exemplifies?

We come to learn how to overcome ego through faith, the importance of biblical humility, and the role of spiritual growth in how to get rid of ego spiritually through Christ.

How To Get Rid Of Ego Spiritually

Overcoming Ego Through Faith

Overcoming ego starts with faith. It requires us to trust that God’s ways are higher than our own and that His plan for our lives is better than anything we could devise ourselves. When we rely on our own strength and wisdom, our ego grows, leading us away from God. However, when we place our trust in God and submit to His guidance, we begin to diminish our ego, making room for His presence in our lives.

In Matthew 16:24, Jesus calls us to deny ourselves and follow Him: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.'” This act of self-denial is a direct challenge to our ego. It’s a call to put aside our pride and desires in favor of God’s will. By placing our faith in Christ and following His example, we can begin to let go of the ego that hinders our spiritual growth.

The Importance of Biblical Humility

Humility is the antidote to ego. The Bible teaches us that true strength comes from humility, not from asserting our own importance. James 4:6 reminds us, “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.'” Embracing humility means recognizing our dependence on God and acknowledging that all we have and all we are comes from Him.

Biblical humility involves more than just an attitude of meekness; it’s about living in a way that reflects Christ’s example. Jesus, though fully God, humbled Himself to serve others, even washing His disciples’ feet. In Philippians 2:3-4, we are instructed to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” This scripture challenges us to put others before ourselves, a practice that naturally diminishes our ego and aligns us with God’s will.

Spiritual Growth and Ego

Spiritual growth requires the ongoing process of letting go of ego. As we grow in our relationship with God, we become more aware of how our ego hinders our spiritual progress. This awareness allows us to consciously choose to reject pride and embrace humility, fostering a deeper connection with God.

Ego often manifests in subtle ways, such as the desire for recognition, control, or validation from others. By continually seeking God’s presence and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us, we can identify these tendencies and address them before they take root. Romans 12:3 advises, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” This verse encourages us to maintain a humble perspective, focusing on our spiritual growth rather than our personal gain.

 

Letting go of ego is a journey that requires faith, humility, and a commitment to spiritual growth. As we learn to put aside our pride and trust in God, we open ourselves to the transformative power of His love and grace.

 

Ready to grow spiritually and overcome ego? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

In a world that often values appearances over authenticity, the concept of transparency can be challenging. Yet, the Bible calls Christians to live lives of honesty and openness, reflecting the truth of Christ in all that we do. But what does it mean to be transparent as a follower of Christ? How can we practice biblical transparency in our daily lives? 

What Does The Bible Say About Being Transparent

Christian Authenticity

Christian authenticity is about aligning our actions, words, and thoughts with the truth of the Gospel. It’s about living in a way that reflects Christ’s character, both in public and in private. Being transparent means that who we are on the inside matches who we are on the outside—there’s no pretense or facade. This level of authenticity is crucial for building trust in our relationships with others and deepening our relationship with God.

Jesus Himself modeled this authenticity throughout His ministry. He was open about His purpose, His love for humanity, and even His struggles. In John 8:32, Jesus tells us, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” This verse underscores the freedom that comes from living in truth, unburdened by the need to hide or pretend.

 

Biblical Transparency

Biblical transparency involves being honest about our weaknesses, struggles, and sins. The Bible encourages us to confess our sins to one another and to God, as this openness leads to healing and spiritual growth. James 5:16 advises, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” This transparency is not about airing our dirty laundry but about seeking support and accountability within the body of Christ.

The Apostle Paul also emphasized the importance of living transparently. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, he shares his own experience with weakness, saying, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Paul’s transparency about his struggles allowed God’s strength to be displayed in his life, serving as a powerful testimony to others.

 

Living Truthfully in Christ

Living truthfully in Christ means that we are not only honest with others but also with ourselves and with God. It involves acknowledging our flaws, repenting from our sins, and striving to live according to God’s standards. This kind of transparency allows us to grow spiritually, as we continually bring our true selves before God, trusting in His grace and guidance.

Transparency also fosters deeper connections within our Christian community. When we are open about our struggles and victories, we encourage others to do the same, creating an environment of mutual support and growth. Ephesians 4:25 tells us, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” This verse highlights the importance of truthfulness in maintaining unity and strength within the body of Christ.

Living truthfully also means being transparent in our relationship with God. Psalm 139:23-24 is a beautiful example of a prayer for transparency: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” This prayer reflects a heart that is open and honest before God, desiring to be fully known and fully transformed by Him.

 

Ready to deepen your spiritual journey? Explore the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

Change is an inevitable part of life, but embracing it can be challenging, especially when we face uncertainty. However, as Christians, we are called to view change not as something to fear, but as an opportunity for growth through Jesus Christ. The willingness to change reflects our faith and trust in God’s plan for our lives, helping us to become more like Christ in our journey.

Willingness To Change Through Jesus

Biblical View on Change

The Bible is filled with stories of transformation, from the conversion of Saul to Paul to the renewal of our minds in Christ. Change is not only expected in the Christian life but is also necessary for spiritual growth. The scriptures highlight the importance of allowing God to transform us, renewing our minds to align with His will.

One of the most profound examples of change in the Bible is found in the story of Saul, who became Paul. Saul was a man who persecuted Christians, but through a divine encounter with Jesus, he was transformed into Paul, one of the most influential apostles in Christian history. This story illustrates how radical and life-altering change can be when we allow God to work in our lives.

In Romans 12:2, we are encouraged to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This transformation is not merely a change in behavior but a fundamental shift in how we think and perceive the world. It’s about aligning our thoughts with God’s truth and allowing His word to guide our decisions and actions. The process of renewing our minds is ongoing, requiring a daily commitment to live according to God’s will.

Christian Growth and Transformation

Christian growth is deeply connected to our willingness to be transformed by Jesus. As we walk with Christ, we are called to shed our old selves and embrace a new identity in Him. This transformation is a continuous process that requires us to be open to God’s leading and our willingness to change our ways, attitudes, and behaviors.

The process of Christian transformation involves both internal and external change. Internally, we must allow the Holy Spirit to work within us, changing our hearts and minds. This internal transformation is reflected in our external actions—how we treat others, how we handle challenges, and how we live out our faith in everyday life.

Ephesians 4:22-24 instructs us to “put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” This passage highlights the need for intentionality in our transformation. We must actively choose to let go of old habits and embrace the new life that God offers us through Jesus.

Embracing Change with Faith

Embracing change with faith means trusting that God’s plans are better than our own. It requires us to surrender our fears and uncertainties to Him, knowing that He is in control. Through faith, we can approach change with confidence, knowing that each step we take brings us closer to fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives.

Change can be daunting, especially when it involves stepping into the unknown. However, when we approach change with faith, we acknowledge that God is guiding our steps. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” This verse encourages us to trust in God’s wisdom rather than relying on our limited understanding.

 

Faith allows us to embrace change not as something to be feared but as an opportunity to grow closer to God. When we trust in His plan, we can find peace and assurance even in the midst of uncertainty.

 

Want to experience deeper joy in your life? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

No man is an island. No guy can go it alone no matter how strong and independent he feels. God created all humans in His image to be relational beings, designed to seek and nurture connection with others. The Bible teaches us about all the different relationships in our lives. It tells us to honor our parents, form a union with our wives, and to build lasting friendships.

As Proverbs 27:9 says, “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” But the Bible doesn’t just affirm its importance, it also teaches us how to build friendships that last.

6 Biblical Ways to Build Lasting Friendships

1. Be open, honest, and authentic

A friendship can only get off the ground if both parties can be open and honest with each other. For one, you must be vulnerable to let someone get to know you—like really know you. Plus, if your friend is always honest with you, you can trust them and their words. Even if it hurts your feelings, you know it’s said out of genuine care for you. That means you’re being authentic with each other, especially when it would be easier to avoid confrontation. As Proverbs 27:5-6 so poetically puts it, “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

2. Invest time and effort

Much like training in the gym, consistency helps the friendship grow stronger—making time for each other out of our busy lives is crucial. Check in regularly, even if it’s just a text, have a weekly activity, and celebrate each other. As I always say, go through life together. Proverbs 18:24 tells us, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

3. Hold your friendship to a higher standard of kindness

We guys can be a bit rough on each other. Sometimes, we accidentally let our competitiveness or jealousy come out under the guise of joking. Sometimes, we choose ourselves over our friends and miss opportunities to be kind. It can happen casually and go without notice. But God is extremely serious about the true standard of friendship. The Bible tells us, “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” What’s a good, practical way to start cultivating empathy and kindness today? Listen actively, giving your full attention to your friend, so they feel supported and you find opportunities to help them.

4. Build each other up with praise and gratitude

1 Thessalonians 5 offers wonderful, straightforward wisdom about creating strong bonds in a community, instructing us to build each other up with encouragement and acknowledgment. It’s a great blueprint for strengthening friendships, too. Everyone wants to know someone is on their side and be acknowledged when they’ve worked hard. Compliment your friend’s efforts, celebrate their successes, and express your gratitude for their presence in your life. Simple acts of recognition can significantly deepen your bond.

5. Forgive your friends

No friendship is without its bumps in the road. Disagreements, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings are inevitable. But holding onto grudges can poison the relationship. Ephesians 4:32 teaches us to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” True, lasting friendship recognizes that no one is perfect and extends the grace God has given us to our friends, allowing us to move past conflicts while strengthening the relationship.

6. Study the example of Jesus’ friendship together 

Jesus is the ultimate model of perfect friendship. He showed unconditional love, loyalty, and sacrifice for His friends. In John 15:13, Jesus says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” By studying the life and actions of Jesus, friends can learn how to support, encourage, and love each other better. Spend time together in prayer and Bible study, seeking to understand and emulate Jesus’ approach to friendship. This spiritual growth together will deepen your bond and align your friendship with God’s teachings.

Building lasting friendships is a journey that requires the kind of commitment, honesty and a deep sense of kindness and forgiveness showcased by Jesus’ example and God’s Word. By following it and receiving blessings from God, we can cultivate friendships that not only stand the test of time but also refresh and enrich our souls. So, let’s take these steps together, investing in our friendships with the same love and dedication that God has shown us.

 

Want to get started today? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship now. 

Failure. It’s become such a big word in our ultra-competitive culture. And it’s not just the word for when you don’t succeed. We’ve started using it as a title for those who lose big. And when we’re at our lowest, it’s what we think of ourselves. Plenty of events can reduce us to rock bottom. Failures in our personal lives, our careers or our relationships. It could simply be the feeling that you’ve got nothing going for you. But there is a way to recover from failure. And good news—you don’t have to compete your way out of it or earn it at all.

5 Ways Recover from Failure

1. Give yourself a break and a chance to reflect

Pressure is one of the most common factors that leads to feeling like a failure. It could come from parents, friends or society. While pressure can be good for short-term motivation and focus, it’s not sustainable. So, if you’ve already fallen off the hamster wheel of pursuing success, take it as a great opportunity—to take a deep breath and reassess your life.

2. Identify your metric for success

For guys, the idea of being successful or “a success” starts with their concept of manhood. Turn on the TV and you’ll see no shortage of “success stories” vying for your envy. It could be sexual conquest, making a lot of money or having a lot of power—or some combination of the three. It could be something more wholesome, like an impressive physical pursuit or being a well-respected man in the community. Start by asking, “Is this truly a successful life?”

3. Understand our addiction to approval

What happens when you hit your metric? Are you able to sustain it? You’ll realize how impossible our formulation of success is: “Once I accomplish that, then I’ll be a success.” At the end of the day, these concepts of success are based on approval. We’re trying to win it from our peers, our wives, our fathers or society at large. But the problem is that this approval is temporary. We have to keep proving it for us to believe it.

4. Separate your identity from your performance  

When our concept of success is tied up with our identity, we’re bound to fall at some point. Maybe we were the fastest runner one day, but not the next. What happens when our identity is based on being the fastest? Or being the best husband? Or the best Christian? We crumble and feel like a failure. 

5. Receive your identity from God

The big transformation happens when you receive your true identity as a son from God. You live from it rather than for it. Instead of being stuck in an approval feedback loop, you’re on a journey to find your purpose, become secure in who you are, and make a positive impact. It’s figuring out how to be faithful and true, loyal, honest, trustworthy and authentic.

How do you receive it? Simply by having a personal relationship with God. As you get closer, you’ll become more like Him. But there’s no pressure to keep it up or pedestal to fall from—because you know all the power comes only from Him. It transcends any idea of “success or failure,” as validation (or lack thereof) for your life. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone anymore. In fact, you’re really giving up your life to enjoy the greatest success possible. As Jesus says in Matthew 16:25, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of me will find it.”

Here’s an additional tip: Remember, only Jesus was perfect. You’re going to fail. You might drift away from your true identity and fall into the world’s metrics for your success. You’ll puff yourself up when you perform well and feel low when you don’t. But when you get back to focusing on God, you’ll remember life is not about achieving success—and you’ll recover from any failure.  

 

Want to bring God and His transformative process into your friendships? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

As a Dad, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily life—taking the kids to school, sporting events and birthday parties. When you get home and finish the chores, you spend as much time as you can connecting with your wife. Even guys who aren’t married often pour themselves into their jobs. And we all can get distracted by the endless streaming options and social media. The aspect of our lives that most quickly falls by the wayside is maintaining consistent connections and to connect with friends.

Everyone knows friends are important. But a lot of us feel lonely at times and wonder where they’ve gone or why they don’t feel as close anymore. The key is consistency. And I’ll show you why…

4 Ways Being Consistent Will Improve Your Friendships

1. Intentionality 

I think many people expect being close friends with someone to come naturally. But really, everything has to line up perfectly: You grew up together and stayed in the same place while sharing similar interests and values. Otherwise, you have to be intentional about maintaining a close friendship. 

Practically, that means making plans to see each other or talk at least once a week. It shows how much they matter to you that you’re willing to cut out a chunk of time every week to spend time with them, which is key for developing trust. 

2. Trust

Think about meeting up with an old friend you haven’t spoken to in years. You could of course get along, joke around a little, relive the glory days and get caught up to speed on what’s going on in each other’s lives. But would you be comfortable sharing your struggles and deepest vulnerabilities that you keep under wraps? 

That’s why consistency is so key. With an intentional friend, you’ve gotten to a point in your friendship where you can say, “I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine.” You trust them to listen to these sensitive topics without fear that they’ll tell someone else. And that they’ll be actively thinking and praying for the right wisdom to help you connect with friends. 

3. Different Perspectives

Whenever the best CEOs need to find the right direction for the business, they lean on the expertise of their advisors. That’s what it’s like having a few close, trustworthy friends. It’s easy to get confused in life and feel unsure about what your next step should be.  But when you have the consistent advice of a trustworthy friend in your corner, it makes it so much easier. They’ll encourage you to keep going if you’re on the right track or offer insights on what to do next. 

Sometimes the best advice from this kind of friend comes when we don’t even realize we need it. They can keep us accountable when we’re acting out of line or prideful. Not out of some judgmental righteousness but out of deep compassion—they know our story and they only want the best for our soul. 

4. Spiritual Growth

When I talk about spiritual growth, I’m not talking about becoming a pastor or an elder in the church. I’m just talking about deepening your relationship with God and receiving His blessing in our lives. Having a group of trustworthy, reliable friends meeting up every week to be friends with God is among the most important things we can do in life. It’s what Jesus modeled for us. He taught His disciples to come together to consistently connect to God. Being able to connect with friends is one way to do this.

 

Is this exactly the kind of friendship you’ve been looking for? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship to get started today.