Why Leaders Need Real Friendship

We have a leadership problem in America. It’s part of our pride and power problem. Nowadays, leaders in everything from politics to business are quick with excuses and blame, and slow to admit fault or take responsibility. Pride and power are fused with brand and image. Egos and yes men blind leaders to reality and objective feedback.

Lives are damaged and can even be lost. A tragic case is seen in “Titan: The OceanGate Disaster,” a recent documentary on the private submarine that imploded in 2023. It shows an extremely intelligent man, OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush, driving a toxic leadership culture of demanding results no matter the cost. His blindness stemmed from a hunger for Steve Jobs or Elon Musk celebrity. His intelligence gave way to foolishness as he ignored the experts in his own company. His blindness cost him his life, as well as the lives of four passengers.

Puffing the brand of “leaders” for speedy growth has seeped from entertainment and marketplace into religion, and too many churches. Multiple famous “Christian” personalities have followed the elevated leader script and sunk with similar symptoms. Anyone who understands the fallen nature of mankind can tell you, we don’t have to be famous to fall into the same trap. We all have to be wary of the dangers of success in a world where personal brand is currency and enjoying glory blinds us. *

Why Is Success So Dangerous?

The blinding nature of glory and RPMs of success are incredibly isolating. Success can make you busier with more work and/or travel. You easily lose the routine of friendship and family, as well as full presence when you are together.

Feeding on ego starves you from hearing genuine feedback. Ignoring or bristling at anything negative scares away feedback from those closest to you. You start prioritizing how others perceive you and curate how you act to fuel, and avoid betraying, the puffed-up idea you hope they have of you in their mind.

Your pretense of success becomes your only face, even with your friends and family. But the cracks start to show, and you become a contradiction. You either push it down or you hide it from others.

Outwardly, you perform this “leader” role that’s been inflated and normalized by our culture. You accept credit, but assign blame to others. You’re losing touch with objectivity and reality to keep up your image and upward trajectory. The blindness is increasing and the crash is coming.

But there is an antidote. We can only start with us, and many of us men desperately need it.

Friendship delivers the Cure

Not just any kind of friendship. It’s not just the camaraderie of being with other guys that many men miss. What each of us really need is intentional and deep friendship. Friendship like Jesus lived.

Consistently Deep friendship (or Level 5 Friendship) is being connected, real and seen. It takes you out of the darkness of insecurity, performing and hiding, so you can live in the light of being honest, known and accountable.  It’s being imperfect and liked for your real self, not the brand.

It’s not that true friends make sure you follow the rules. It’s more organic than that. It’s a friend who cares about your inner life and relationships. His loyalty encourages you to be honest about the fears you face and the mistakes you make. And, just as importantly, he’ll enjoy and celebrate you, not for your accomplishments or your external brand, but for who you really are, faults and all.

Being known and loved for the real you is grounding. It builds security independent of external success. It gives you an objective perspective you can trust. That protects against the blindness of success or ego pride.

We need this friendship. Leaders need this friendship. They’re more vulnerable to the dangers of success, yet they’re responsible for more. When they mess up, it negatively impacts more people. And when they stay humble and protected in real friendship, God will work through them to serve and lift up more people.

What does real leadership look like?

We’ve looked at many of the symptoms of bad leadership, but what does a good leader look like?

Jesus was the most effective leader in history. His take on success, fame and friendship was diametrically opposite of what we see in today’s versions of success and brand-driven leadership. When a hunger for credit and glory divided his 12 closest friends, Jesus showed them that true leadership flaunts nothing, impresses no audience and stays low to serve.

Just look at what he says in Matthew 20:

24 When the ten other disciples heard what James and John had asked, they were indignant. 25 But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. 26 But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. 28 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Hey leader – husbands, dads, managers, high-performers –  are your core friendships muscular? Do you connect consistently and honestly? Now’s the time to go deeper in your friendships…and leadership.

Be there for our SEPT 10 Huddle Captains Convene Zoom call for more insights on friendship and leadership. Join our invitation & blog list today.

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Lead with Your Limp—The Importance of Being Vulnerable First

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It’s been a long time since my last blog, but I’ve been busy over the past few months working with the team to create something that, God-willing, can help men establish, deepen and grow the kind of friendships that Jesus modelled for us. I’ll unpack CORE 3 Coaching further later on, but I wanted to share a great discussion that came up in our most recent MEN HUDDLE Huddle Captains Convene (quarterly Zoom calls available to anyone on our email list) about leading with your limp.

First, a little background. We were talking about what keeps us men from developing their friendships beyond the ‘casual’, ‘basic’ or ‘good’ into the ‘strong’ Level 4 or ‘deep’ Level 5 friendships. Often, it comes down to what’s in or out of bounds in our conversations.

Conversations Matter

In casual friendship, men stick to the ‘usual’ conversations, like their work, kids, hobbies or sports teams. But for a deeper friendship, the conversation has to go deeper, too. First, it will cover ‘extensive’ ground in strong friendships, where you get to know the story behind the man. In Level 5, the conversations are ‘extraordinary’—you consistently share everything from your biggest dreams to your daily failures.

On the call, Jeff Fisher from the Northwest summarized it well, saying, “Level 4 is being transparent about your past and Level 5 is being transparent (and vulnerable) about your present.”

Then, the next question is: How do we get guys to be transparent and go deeper?

Be Vulnerable First

It’s what great leaders do to set the tone and demonstrate honesty, creating the safety for others to share without feeling like they’re going out on a limb alone. Too many people in positions of authority will lead with their résumés. “You can trust me—Look at all the things I’ve already accomplished.” They do this without realizing it has the opposite effect, intimidating others, creating a hierarchy and discouraging them from speaking up.

Just look at the only perfect man: Jesus let his disciples in on everything. As friends, He told them everything He learned from the Father. He shared his temptations and the struggles He faced. He showed Thomas His wounds. He was totally transparent and real with them all the time.

In the Old Testament, Jacob demonstrated this by “leading with his limp.” Remember, Jacob was proud, not humble. He tricked his brother and his blind father into giving him the elder’s birthright. But years later, on his way to reconcile with his brother, God confronted Jacob. He wrestled him, touching his hip socket and dislocating it. It became a constant physical reminder of his transformation into a man of humility and wisdom, signifying his shift from self-reliance to his dependence on God.

You don’t have to be a perfect leader. By leading with your weaknesses, you elevate the strength and grace of God.

Vulnerability and Mentorship

Later in the huddle conversation, we realized this principle of “being vulnerable first” also applied to connecting to and mentoring younger guys. Instead of waiting for an invitation to a mentorship program at church or for a younger man to ask for it, you can initiate. Be vulnerable first. Reach out to see if a guy wants to get connected and talk about life…Rather than lead with instruction, ask about his story and concerns. Open up with your story, starting with the mistakes you’ve made. It’ll build trust, and even a bridge, to discussing how God can use and turn around anything.

If you’d like to be there for our next Huddle Captains Convene Zoom call, sign up here.

Lead with your limp…and please pray for God’s hand as we shape CORE 3 Coaching.

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How Did Jesus Handle Conflict?

When interpreting how did Jesus handle conflict, there are two seemingly opposite characterizations of Him. One is a peace-loving hippie who stopped His own disciple from defending Him before He was falsely accused, tried, and executed like a criminal. The other is the macho carpenter who overthrew tables in the synagogue. The truth is Jesus dealt with conflict perfectly according to each situation.

Looking at the first example, it’s important to understand that seeking peace for Jesus was not being a pushover and just accepting the injustice of the situation. When Peter cut off the ear of the high priest’s servant, Jesus first commands His disciple to stop. In Matthew, He says, “For all who draw the sword will die by the sword.” He warns Peter where this path of violence will lead. But more importantly, He reminds him of their spiritual goal, “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?” Nothing would throw Him off this goal. He also demonstrated another key concept of resolving conflict—He makes it right, healing the servant’s ear.

Why, then, does Jesus overturn the tables in the temple? Jesus saw that God’s place of worship and prayer had been turned into a marketplace, where merchants were profiting and exploiting pilgrims coming to worship at the temple. Here, Jesus displays that anger can be appropriate when it’s righteous and correctly targeted. He constructs a whip to drive away the merchants and disrupts their operations. This moment gives us another powerful example of how did Jesus handle conflict—by taking bold, righteous action when necessary.

5 Essential Ways Jesus Approached Conflict

So, how did Jesus handle conflict in a way that was both as passive as healing His aggressor and as aggressive as a non-violent protest? How can we follow His perfect example for resolving conflict with grace? Throughout Scripture, Jesus consistently approached conflict in these five ways.

Responding with Wisdom and Truth

When the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus with difficult “trick” questions, Jesus answered with wisdom, exposing their hypocrisy without resorting to anger. What can we learn from this? It feels like especially nowadays, we are inundated by debates from people who are not interested in listening or, at worst, make bad-faith arguments. They only want to score points for their own team. Sometimes, arguments with a loved one can even devolve into this kind of discussion. Instead of getting caught up in these debates, we should be navigating difficult conversations biblically by responding thoughtfully and sincerely, while relying on God’s wisdom.

Show Compassion Instead of Retaliation

In John 1:1-11, Jesus shows the courage to stand up to an angry mob of people who want to stone a woman who’s been caught in adultery. He reminds us that none of us are perfect and that ultimately God will judge us: “Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone.” Don’t pile on when someone messes up and remember that all of us have sinned. Don’t you want forgiveness from others when you mess up?

Trust God’s Justice, Not Man’s Justice

It feels like every day we are confronted with some new injustice in the world. As believers, we’re called to confront it at every turn (just think of Jesus overturning the tables in the temple). But what happens if you’re unjustly accused? Do you get angry and lash out? Instead, trust God to vindicate you, just like how Jesus remained silent and unbothered during His unjust trial before Pontius Pilate.

Forgive Enemies

Maybe no instance shows Jesus’ approach to forgiveness better than when He was on the cross. He prayed for those who crucified Him, advocating on their behalf: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they’re doing” (Luke 23:34). Like Jesus, we can give others the benefit of the doubt, being gracious about their intent even if they’ve wronged us and forgive them for it.

Correct with Love, Not Condemnation

Throughout the Bible, Jesus always used His disciples’ mistakes as an opportunity for their growth and for them to get closer. For example, even when His disciples foolishly argued over who was the greatest (Luke 22:24-27), He did not rebuke them but taught them what real leadership looks like. God’s kingdom would not be like those of mankind, which depended on hierarchy, but one of equality and servanthood. “For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.”

Want to keep studying how did Jesus handle conflict with a group of guys? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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5 Big Lessons About Courage In The Bible

Are you feeling fearful in your life? Do you need extra courage to do something you know you need to do? Courage in the Bible is a recurring theme, reminding us that fear is a natural human response, but we are never alone. God is with us, by our side, giving us the courage to face the fears and uncertainties of life.

There’s courage, and then there’s the super-human courage that only comes from an unwavering trust in God. The Bible is full of individuals who displayed this kind of courage. And, as God incarnate, Jesus modeled it to perfection.

Finding Bravery Through Scripture

In Joshua 1:9, God asked Joshua, His chosen leader to bring the Israelites into the Promised Land: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

The rhetorical nature of God’s question really drives the point home. Of course, God knows that it’s hard for us humans to get over our natural inclination to fear. But if we truly believe that God is with us wherever we go, we can follow his command to be strong and courageous. 

What Does the Bible Say About Courage?

Here are four powerful statements that the Bible says about courage. 

  1. You can take heart that God goes with you everywhere, and will never let you down. (Deuteronomy 31:6).
  2. Fear does not come from God, and believers can rest in God’s assurances so that fear will not affect us. Instead, we can live with God’s spirit of power, love and peace (2 Timothy 1:7). 
  3. Courage requires obedience: Sometimes, stepping out in faith means obeying even when it’s difficult. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus follows God’s will even though he is distressed about the task He must accomplish (Matthew 26:36-46).
  4. God strengthens the weak: Even when we feel inadequate, God equips us for what He calls us to do (Isaiah 41:10).

3 Stories of Faith and Courage

We can learn to do this for ourselves by thoughtfully studying the Biblical examples of those who showed bravery through their reliance on God. 

  1. David and Goliath (1 Samuel 17): Before he became king, David was just a young shepherd boy who faced the giant Goliath when no other Israelite would answer his challenge. How did He do it? Not by donning heavy armor as a big, strong warrior, but by letting God use his particular strengths. With unwavering trust in God, he used his slingshot and won the batter for God and His people. The lesson? Even the smallest or seemingly insignificant person can be used by God, and their unique characteristics can make a huge difference.

  2. Daniel in the Lion’s Den (Daniel 6): During the Jewish people’s Babylonian exile, Daniel remained steadfast in his beliefs despite pressure to conform to Babylonian customs and the life-threatening situations of the lion’s den. The lesson? God protects and vindicates those who are standing firm in God’s strength.

  3. Esther’s Boldness (Esther 4:16): Queen Esther risked her life to save her people, declaring, “If I perish, I perish.” Her courage came from knowing that God had placed her in that position for a purpose, even if she could not see a solution to her position. The lesson? Trust in God’s plan even when things seem hopeless.

Courage in the Bible is not about being fearless—it’s about trusting God despite fear. By looking to Scripture and remembering God’s promises, we can find the strength to stand firm in our faith. No matter what challenges we face, we can be courageous, knowing that God is always with us.

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3 Important Factors in Guiding Young Men

Young men are being seriously blitzed right now. According to the Stanford Review, they are “three times more likely to overdose, four times more likely to commit suicide, and a staggering 14 times more likely to be incarcerated than their female peers.” They’ve been ignored, isolated in social media and inundated with lies about what it means to be a man.

But every generation must find their way, and none of them do it without mentors guiding young men to manhood, helping them find their identity in Christ and experience the security and joy it brings. 

Mentorship in Faith 

No one figured out how to be a true man on their own. Jesus mentored his disciples. First, He did it and they watched. Then, He told them to follow His example while He watched. Finally, they did it with His guiding spirit, and others watched them. Soon, the Way of Jesus spread all over the world. 

Try taking the same approach to mentoring young men. First, you must make sure you are following Jesus’ example and relying on God for everything as best you can. Show them what that means in your daily life. Be real. Tell them about the highs and the lows.

Like any good teacher, you make it real for them. Ask them to pray for someone or invite them to volunteer with you, always listening for God’s instructions on how to best lead them. Then, as their faith grows stronger, encourage them to hear the call that God has put on their life—a specific mission that they can take responsibility for and use their gifts to accomplish it. By doing so, they will become an example to others on guiding young men. 

It will never be a clean three steps and you’re done. They will falter. You will falter. But this continual process of modeling, doing and empowering is Jesus’ way of transforming us to be more like Him. 

Teaching Young Men Biblical Values

As I mentioned before, there are a lot of voices from all sides telling young men a lot of destructive things right now. Even if they are not listening to them directly, these influences seep into the culture and sway young men without them even realizing it. 

That’s why it’s so important that their beliefs are firmly rooted in the Word. You should be encouraging young men to read the Bible every day—and not just to check a box and not so they feel good about being spiritual. These traps are easy to fall into, even as you grow up!

Tell them to really meditate over the Word and let God lead them to what He wants to tell them. At the same time, show them the importance of studying the Word like a serious researcher, using commentary and guides to understand the historical and spiritual context that sets every single word blazing with meaning on guiding young men.

This is the personal aspect of their relationship with God. You can’t do it for them. But you can also be vigilant and speak up when their words or actions do not reflect Biblical values. 

Encouraging Spiritual Growth in Youth 

The most important part of catalyzing spiritual growth in a young person is making sure that spark is set in the first place. Even though I grew up in a Christian household, when I truly decided to live for God did not come until the end of college. You can show them the life-giving benefits of your own decision to do that, but they cannot grow spiritually until they make that decision for themselves. 

Sometimes, there’s a blockage in the way. It could be a selfish, ego desire or it could be a false idea of who God is. If you think it’s the latter, you could invite them to clear away previous conceptions and let God show you who He really is. 

After the spark has caught, you can nurture it by continually encouraging and reminding them to receive from God. It might sound like a passive action, but it’s not. It’s about being intentional and sticking to a daily practice of spending time with God. 

Then, you can sustain this flame of spiritual growth by making sure they have all the support they need to continue. You can set up a weekly time to ask them how their faith journey is going and share your own relatable experiences with them. Hearing from someone who has gone before you is key to overcoming obstacles. But you should also encourage them to find peers who are going through it at the same time to set up a men’s group about guiding young men. This deep friendship is necessary for a life of continual spiritual growth.

 

If you would like to share a game plan for setting up this kind of men’s group to foster these friendships, download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship and send it to them today.

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What Does Spiritual Leadership Look Like?

True Biblical spiritual leadership doesn’t look like the world’s leadership. And when a spiritual leader fails, it’s because they’ve traded Jesus’ way of leading for a worldly way.

Sometimes, that’s replacing spiritual goals with material ones (such as the land-grabbing Crusades or many examples of financial abuse). Other times, it’s falling in love with the power and privilege of being a leader, exploiting others for their own gratification.

Of course, it’s not just about not being a bad spiritual leader. God holds us to an infinitely higher standard. So, why do I start here? Because Jesus’ way of leadership is totally opposite: It is anti-hierarchical and shuns ambitions for worldly advancement.

Jesus flipped leadership on its head to give us a better way.

How did Jesus model spiritual leadership?

For Jesus, leadership was not leading by control. He didn’t make everyone follow him by providing some display of power, like Satan tempted Him to. He wasn’t a brash commander, ordering his disciples around. He was a gentle, humble teacher who served his followers—putting their needs while perfectly holding them accountable.

Back in his day, social classes were much stricter than today. But Jesus lowered himself to associate with the vulnerable and marginalized, reaching out to children, the sick, and the socially ostracized. He defended the woman from the stoning crowd. He met people, like the Samaritan woman at the well, where they were, offering compassion without judgment. Jesus washed His disciples’ feet—an act reserved for the lowest servant. And he assumed the status of a criminal on a cross to save humanity from their sins.

At the same time, leadership is about guiding and directing people, too. Jesus held people accountable to the truth. He challenged the hypocrisy and legalism of the Pharisees. He corrected Peter for misunderstanding their spiritual mission.

Jesus didn’t do all this to lead us during His time on earth. He did it to provide a model for us to follow.

But how can we flawed humans ever hope to meet this standard? We can’t! God doesn’t expect perfection from us. But He will transform us into the spiritual leaders we were meant to be if we receive everything from him.

Receive your authentic style of spiritual leadership

Jesus came to rescue us and reconnect us with our perfect Heavenly Father. When we embrace this truth, we no longer have to be defined by our failures, struggles, or circumstances. Whether we face rejection, criticism, or setbacks, our identity remains secure because it is anchored in God’s love and acceptance.

Receiving this authentic self, provided and sustained by God, makes it possible to change: to focus on relationships (not ourselves), ttreat others better, make wise decisions and navigate life’s challenges, all while staying humble. Because we know it wasn’t us. It was all Him.

That way, you’re never putting on airs or acting how you think a spiritual leader should act.

Inspiring others through your walk with God

Inspiration is a huge part of being a strong leader. Think of the rush of belief a team has when the QB or linebacker stands in the middle of a huddle and delivers a motivational speech.

But too many people want to skip straight to this step. They want to appear as a leader and enjoy all the recognition of being a leader. But too few want to put in the work these leaders do. On the football team, it’s the time and effort and focus in the film room and the weight room that lead to success. And it’s also the willingness to take responsibility when things go wrong.

Leading by example in faith

Just like Jesus modeled, serving and leading by example is the basis for leadership. Otherwise, we could never guide or instruct from a place of experience. At worst, it could become hypocrisy.

In what ways can we lead by example?

  • Loving God by loving others:  Show others God’s perfect love by serving them sacrificially with kindness, empathy and compassion.
  • Developing leadership through prayer: Listen to God through prayer and scripture, then have the trust and courage to apply it to everything, from big decisions to daily life.
  • Worshiping God: Through your actions, help cultivate a deeper sense of reverence and understanding of God.

On top of leading by example, spiritual leadership often starts with things that can seem rather regular: checking in with your friends regularly, being intentional about bringing people together, organizing events and trips, being there for others when they need help. You can relate to others to help them—in many ways, lowering yourself by sharing your own mistakes and how you learned from them can be the most transformative way a spiritual leader can support and inspire those God has put in his life to be led.

 

Want to start a Men’s Huddle to bring guys together for spiritual growth? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship now. 

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How to Lead Your Family Spiritually

Think of the qualities of a great leader. He or she is inspirational and direct, has a plan, holds others accountable, and puts the team first. Now, think of a bad leader: a hypocritical commander who lacks confidence or direction. You’ve probably experienced both—and maybe even been both at different times in your life. But when it comes to learning how to lead your family spiritually, the stakes couldn’t be higher. The impact of your leadership is not only generational; it’s eternal.

What Makes A Great Leader

Live a Spiritual Life

The first step is to walk the walk. Some of the best examples of leadership come when someone who has already made the journey comes back to show everyone else the way. Think about the personal journey that Moses made that prepared him to lead God’s people out of Egypt. 

Setting a godly example for your children is just one more reason to devote yourself to your own relationship with Jesus. Receive your identity as a Son of God. Commit to daily prayer, studying Scripture and seeking God’s will in your life. Spend time with Him. Hold yourself accountable and let it shine through your actions. 

Model Christ-Like Behavior

Your example of what it looks like to live a spiritual life will speak louder than your words ever will. The Apostle Paul directs in 1 Corinthians 11:1 to “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” As a spiritual leader to the church in Corinth, Paul modeled Jesus for them as best he could. 

Do the same for your family. Model Jesus’ example of positive, secure masculinity. Show them how to live in God’s light with love, patience, forgiveness and kindness. And, maybe most importantly of all, show them the servant-leadership that Jesus showed his disciples. If he had the humility to wash their feet as God incarnate, then you too can lead with humility by serving your family in the most practical of ways.

Teach Them About Living A Spiritual Life

Walking the walk and modeling a spiritual life lays the groundwork for spiritually leading your family. But it’s going to take instruction, too. Think of how your Dad or Mom taught you to ride a bike. They didn’t just bike in front of you and expect you to get it. They described the actions you’d have to take and held the seat until you were able to pedal on your own. Then, they helped you up when you fell and encouraged you to try again.

The same is true for guiding children in faith. Talk to them about God, about scripture, about the behaviors and actions they must take to strengthen their relationship with God. And remember, just like riding a bike, you can’t do it for them. Let them “fall off the bike,” and be there to help them back up and encourage them when they do. 

Keep God’s Word At The Heart of Everything

Too often, Christians confine their engagement with scripture to specific times—during morning devotionals or Sunday services. But God’s Word, and obedience to it, should be a consistent, guiding light in every area of your life, especially as you lead your family spiritually. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, God commands parents to “Impress [my commandments] on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Your home should revolve around God, just as Joshua declares in Joshua 24:15, “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Leading your family spiritually means building habits like family prayer, reading the Bible together, and establishing faith-based traditions. It also extends beyond your home—teaching your children to serve others through outreach programs, feeding the hungry, and clothing those in need, just as Jesus described in Matthew 25:35-40.

Lead with Prayer, Patience Humility and Wisdom

As a father, it can be easy to get anxious and overwhelmed with all the important decisions you have to make. You might be tempted to repress these insecurities and put on a brave face. But that will only lead to an explosion later on. Instead, embrace the call to lead your family spiritually by modeling prayer and surrender. Whether it’s financial troubles, sickness, family challenges or uncertainty, do what Philippians 4:6 says: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” 

Don’t expect everything to be fixed right after you pray, either. Show your children how to patiently, faithfully wait for God’s answer and how to respond—especially when it’s not the one you want. Be patient and steady. Your consistency and security will create the safe, stable environment they need for their faith to grow.

When you make mistakes (and you will because you’re human), don’t double down and rely on your authority as the head of the household. That will only cause resentment and distrust. Apologize and learn from your mistakes with humility and wisdom.

 

Want to learn more about Christian leadership? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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Key Traits of Christian Leaders

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Christian leadership is more than just holding a position of authority; it’s about embodying the qualities and principles that reflect Christ’s example. True Christian leaders are called to lead with faith, integrity, and a heart for service, guiding others in a way that honors God and promotes spiritual growth. But what are the key traits that define a Christian leader?

By exploring biblical leadership qualities and principles, we can gain a deeper understanding of what it means to lead effectively in a way that aligns with God’s will.

Key Traits Of Christian Leaders

Biblical Leadership Qualities

The Bible provides a clear framework for what it means to be a godly leader. Among the most important qualities are humility, wisdom, and a servant’s heart. In Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT), Paul instructs us, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” Humility is essential for leaders who wish to guide others with a spirit of service rather than self-promotion.

Another key quality is wisdom, which allows leaders to make decisions that are just and aligned with God’s truth. James 1:5 (NLT) encourages leaders to seek wisdom from God: “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” A wise leader discerns God’s will and acts accordingly, leading others with clarity and conviction.

Finally, a servant’s heart is perhaps the most defining trait of a Christian leader. Jesus Himself modeled this when He washed His disciples’ feet, demonstrating that true leadership is about serving others. Mark 10:45 (NLT) reminds us, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” This principle of servant leadership is central to the Christian approach to leading others.

Christian Leadership Principles

Building on these qualities, Christian leadership is guided by several core principles that reflect the teachings of Christ. These principles include:

  • Leading by Example: Christian leaders are called to live out the values they preach, setting a positive example for others to follow. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 11:1 (NLT), “And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.”
  • Encouraging and Uplifting Others: A Christian leader supports and encourages their followers, helping them to grow in their faith and fulfill their potential. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT) advises, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
  • Maintaining Integrity: Integrity is crucial for Christian leaders, as it reflects their commitment to living a life that honors God. Proverbs 10:9 (NLT) states, “People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will be exposed.”

These principles guide Christian leaders in their daily actions, ensuring that their leadership is rooted in faith and aligned with biblical teachings.

Leading with Faith and Integrity

Leading with faith and integrity means prioritizing God’s will above all else. A Christian leader does not rely solely on their own strength or wisdom but seeks God’s guidance in every decision. This approach to leadership ensures that their actions and decisions are consistent with the teachings of Scripture and reflect the character of Christ.

Faithful leadership also involves a deep commitment to integrity. This means being honest, transparent, and trustworthy in all dealings, both in public and in private. When leaders maintain integrity, they build trust with those they lead and create an environment where others feel safe and valued.

Moreover, leading with faith requires a constant connection to God through prayer, worship, and the study of Scripture. It’s through these spiritual disciplines that leaders can remain grounded in their faith and receive the strength they need to guide others effectively.

 

Want to cultivate these leadership qualities in your life? Discover practical tools for Christian leadership with the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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Discover How Jesus Changed The World

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Jesus is all about transformation. He transforms the character of those who follow Him, transforming their relationships with others and the communities that center their lives around Him. Is it any wonder that no other man has changed the world more than Jesus? 

So, how did Jesus change the world? Through His perfect teachings and His sacrifice. Other religions recognize him as a teacher (even if they mistake him for only a teacher). Gandhi drew great inspiration from Jesus’ example for his non-violent protests. Many values and morals that the world takes for granted as universal truths without realizing it was Jesus who taught and exemplified them. And His death on the cross changed the course of the cosmos forever.

3 Huge Ways Jesus Changed the World 

1. The Treatment of Children

Remember when Jesus said, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, come unto me”. It might seem like an obvious thing for Him to say to our modern ears. We commit ourselves to protecting our children and doing whatever we can to set them up to succeed and make their lives better. 

But that’s not how it was during Jesus’ time. They were not cherished as an important life. Children were often left to die or sold into slavery. And they were definitely not something to aspire to be like, as Jesus told His followers, “Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the Kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 

In the world after Jesus, believers learned that you needed humility, faith, innocence and love to receive God’s kingdom. And thanks to Jesus’ example, believers and non-believers alike started giving children the treatment they deserved—opening up orphanages and other social programs to care for them.  

2. Radical Empathy 

Everyone knows the term “Good Samaritan” is someone who acts out of compassion to save someone who desperately needs help. It comes from Jesus’ parable in which a traveler is beaten and left for dead by the road. Jesus describes how a priest and a Levite, two people who were considered among the most upstanding and moral in the ancient Jewish world, pass him by. It’s the Samaritan, an outcast of society, who puts his neck out to help the stranger and shows that compassion—not religious titles or family ties—is what really matters to God. 

He also summed it up with the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would them do unto you.” 

Jesus didn’t just talk the talk, He walked the walk. During His time, there was a purity law that did not permit lepers (those who had a skin disease) to come close or be touched. But that didn’t stop a leper from showing faith in Jesus, and nor did it stop Jesus from touching him. With His touch, He cleansed the leper’s disease. 

Nowadays, we don’t just let sick people rot away. Doctors follow Jesus’ example and risk their lives to provide treatment. The early church decreed that they had to provide a hospice for caring for the sick and poor wherever a cathedral was built. 

3. A Personal Relationship with God for Everyone

Before Jesus came to earth, God’s presence was only able to be accessed by the high priest, who would intercede on behalf of the Jewish people with sacrifices. He would meet with God in the holy of holies, with a veil to shield the mortal man from the holy God’s powerful presence. But when Jesus died for our sins, the veil ripped. Thanks to his atonement, humans could now enjoy the presence of God. 

And it wasn’t just the Jewish people who were invited to a personal, boundary-less relationship with God. Jesus changed the world and transformed the religion to include the Gentiles (non-Jewish) people, too. He told His disciples to go into the world and share the good news of His sacrifice and the salvation that anyone could receive.  

 

Do you want to deepen your relationship with God? Learn how you can bring His Presence into your life and friendships. Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship now. 

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How to Bless Others

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We live in a self-centered, me-focused culture. Men especially are told to get the most out of life, make their money go further, and use their networks to get a better job. The fact that you’re looking for how to bless others shows that you realize it’s all about giving.

 

Why should we learn how to bless others?

Ephesians 1:3 tells followers of Jesus that God has “blessed us in heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” And because we’ve been blessed so generously by God, we have a lot to give others. As 2nd Corinthians 9:11 says, we are “enriched in every way so that we can be generous on every occasion.”

 

Matthew 10:8 puts these ideas together into one simple, powerful command: “Freely you have received; freely give.” 

 

What is a Blessing?

I have described receiving God’s blessing before. His blessings are any kindness, mercy or good thing that comes from God. To bless others is to extend those good things from God. 

 

But even if you want to bless others, you might not know how to go about it—especially as a man. A lot of us have been taught to bottle our feelings up and not show any weaknesses. It can be harder to see a need in other guys and bless them with the kindness they need. That’s why it’s so important for men to open up and find intentional friendship. Ask God every day and stay on the lookout for opportunities to bless others.  

 

Biblical Ideas About Blessings

  1. Bear spiritual fruit: In John 15:5, Jesus uses the metaphor of a vine and branches to describe how believers cannot do anything unless they “remain in him.” By relying on God and keeping him at the center of our focus, God will use us to produce good things. Referencing this scripture, Paul summarizes the fruit of the spirit as “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). The moral? Focus on God and watch him transform your relationships with others.
  2. God’s standard of loving others: In our world, people have a whole lot of justifications for why they treat others badly (“they started it” or “they deserved it,” sound familiar?). But Jesus tells us to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This essential piece of advice can guide as we navigate conflict with friends, family and strangers. Denying your natural inclination to be selfish or respond harshly and choosing graciousness and love can be a big blessing in difficult situations—when it matters most, you could say. But Jesus calls us to an even higher standard when He gives us His new commandment, “Love others, as I have loved you.” That means why must study His perfect example, and try our best to carry it out for others.
  3. Take care of those in need. Whether it’s friends or family or a stranger, God expects us to treat those in need as if they were Jesus Himself. As Matthew 25:36-40 explains, He will tell the righteous, “I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’… Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” 

 

10 Ways to Bless Others

  1. Be intentional about spending time with someone. 
  2. Volunteer your time, attention and effort by serving the needy or the homeless community.
  3. Ask God to put someone on your heart and pray for that person. 
  4. Give a friend or loved one a ride to the airport. 
  5. Be encouraging with your words—tell someone that you are proud of them. 
  6. Serve someone their favorite meal. 
  7. Bring a hot drink on a cold day (or a cold drink on a hot day). 
  8. Ask someone about their day and really listen to their answer. Alleviate any burdens by sharing your own struggles or offering words of encouragement. 
  9. Pay close attention to what someone likes—then surprise them by getting it for them without them asking. 
  10. Go with someone to a doctor’s appointment (or any event) that they’re nervous about for support. 

 

Do you want to bless your friends and let God deepen your relationships? Get my free gift and download my Playbook for Level 5 Friendship. 

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