What Makes a Good Accountability Partner?

For guys, we all start out with good intentions. But temptations arise, and it’s easy to slide into telling half-truths, justifying sinful behavior, secrecy and pretense. Usually, it blows up in your face sooner or later. But even if you keep it hidden, God knows and expects you to live righteously. The best thing to do is to turn to a friend for transparency, encouragement and accountability. But what makes a good accountability partner?

Here are the qualities to look for in a fellow believer who can offer support, and why they make Christian accountability relationships effective.

  1. A Close, Trusted Friend: You need someone who you can trust, who will have your back and is ready to go through life with you.
  2. Honesty and Transparency: A good accountability partner will be honest with you and open up to you about their own challenges, creating a space for mutual vulnerability and growth.
  3. Biblical Wisdom: Your accountability partner should know God’s Word and apply it to your life, offering godly counsel for all kinds of situations.
  4. Commitment to Prayer: Spiritual accountability thrives through prayer. A good partner will pray for you, with you and encourage you to pray regularly as part of your growth.
  5. Empathy and Compassion: They should understand that we all fall short and be quick to show grace and mercy when you stumble. Their support should never be judgmental but rooted in love.
  6. Faithfulness: A true accountability partner is someone who remains steady through life’s ups and downs. They will not abandon you when things get tough but will continue to support you faithfully.

Why Do Christian Accountability Relationships Work?

Christian accountability is more than just a set of rules or a simple check-in system. It’s a relationship grounded in trust, mutual respect and a shared commitment to Christ. They’re not your judge and jury. It’s two friends who take the pressure off from going it alone, while helping each other act according to God’s will and get closer to Him.

As Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” This sharpening happens in the context of vulnerability, where both parties feel safe enough to confess sins, share struggles, and offer support. A healthy Christian accountability relationship is built on the understanding that we all fall short, yet we help each other stand firm in our faith.

Spiritual Growth With a Friend

Spiritual growth doesn’t happen in isolation. We were designed to live in community and have fellowship with one another. A good accountability partner will not only challenge you but also support you in pursuing spiritual growth. They will cheer you on in your victories and help you navigate through difficult seasons of doubt or temptation.

Faithful Brotherhood Support

On the football field, you have to rely on your brotherhood to get you through the grueling year and tight games. It’s the same thing in life, as you go through good times and spiritual battles. Your accountability partner should be the first to offer comfort and prayer. They are there to bear your burdens with you. In Galatians 6:2, Paul writes, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Whether you’re seeking a partner for spiritual growth, struggling with personal challenges, or simply desiring to be more intentional in your walk with God, finding the right accountability partner can make all the difference.

 

Ready to build a close friendship that can be your accountability relationship? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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How To Build Trust In Marriage

Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy, lasting marriage. Most marriages start on a solid foundation of trust. In that honeymoon phase, our excitement for each other makes us act our best. But then, as we get comfortable, we let our real selves show. The selfishness we try to hide comes out. We start to test the trust of the marriage, in big ways or small. And once the trust has been breached, it’s much more difficult to build it back up. 

That’s why building and maintaining trust is essential. Here are some key ways to foster trust in your marriage: 

  1. Honest communication: Don’t hide information or shy away from difficult conversations. Share your thoughts and feelings openly. Be transparent with each other.
  2. Be reliable: Follow through on your promises and commitments, no matter how small.
  3. Listen actively: You can foster a sense of safety by validating each other’s feelings and perspectives, showing them empathy.
  4. Show vulnerability: Building emotional intimacy starts with allowing each other into the deepest parts of yourself—hopes, dreams, fears, all of it.
  5. Apologize and forgive: Mistakes happen. When trust is broken, a sincere apology and a willingness to make amends are essential. So is the forgiveness that allows both partners to heal and move forward.

Overcoming Challenges in Marriage

All of the behaviors I listed above will help you daily. But even if we know what we should be doing to build trust in marriage, it can be hard to wake up every day, focused and energized to carry it out. 

For many of us, it takes a total mindset shift. In America, we’re conditioned to focus on consuming, which puts us and our needs at the center of our lives. But we need to think of ourselves as investors, willing to put our time and energy into our relationships to reap a rewarding, lifelong relationship. 

When I was 24 years old, I figured I was fine. I married a beautiful, virtuous, and strong woman who behaved maturely. I entered the most important relationship in life unaware. I was thinking, She’s wonderful. I’m a good guy and I love her like crazy. Marriage will be easy. It’s gonna be fun—all the time. I was naïve, self-focused, and had more pride than self-awareness or desire to mature.

We both paid a price for my lazy approach. Even though we had a divorce-is-not-an-option commitment, there was too much friction and not enough fun.

We were two dominant leader-type personalities. But I didn’t think I needed to change. I thought our problems were her fault. I assumed she should want what I wanted. I didn’t see my faults or acknowledge when I hurt her feelings. I either laughed things off, sarcastically defended myself, or turned the table to criticize her tone in telling me how I’d disappointed her. 

I was slow to wake up to the realities of my flaws and lack of empathy. Fortunately, our desire for a better marriage pulled us to seek help through mentors and marriage conferences.

Please don’t put off getting help like I did. There’s hope, freedom and progress ahead of you. There’s growing lifelong companionship with a woman who respects and loves you. Quit coasting as a consumer. Invest by listening, learning and continually improving, and let God initiate your transformation.

Strengthening Marriage Through Faith 

All of this can sound daunting, but you don’t have to do it alone. Root yourself in your identity as a son of God. You might think of your behavior in the past and feel like a failure. But as God’s son, you’re deserving of love from God and capable of showing it to your wife—no matter how good or bad the example of marriage shown to you by your parents.

It might not feel like it, but you can change. Follow Jesus’ example of being a son to Father God. He prayed, spent time with God and abided in Him. By doing this, we can lose the ways of this world and become more like Him. Less consuming. More investing. 

God specifically calls us out to be like his son in our marriages. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Next time you have conflict with your wife, just think, “Am I loving her as Jesus loves me? Am I sacrificing what I think is important, to put her first? 

It’s also important to rely on your Jesus-following friends to become a better husband. For one, sharing your experiences helps take the pressure off. You’ll realize they can relate to you. No one has a perfect marriage. Plus, they can offer insight that you may be missing, or help you avoid mistakes by sharing their own experiences. I’ve found that God often speaks through my close friends, offering me the wisdom I needed. Finally, they can help you stay accountable, reminding you of the call God has for husbands and encouraging you along the way. 

 

Want to know how to foster deep friendships? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today!

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What Does It Mean To Rejoice In The Lord?

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Rejoicing in the Lord is a powerful and transformative concept within the Christian faith. But what does it truly mean to rejoice in the Lord? How can this act of joy shape our lives, especially in times of difficulty?

To rejoice in the Lord is to find your deepest sense of joy and contentment in God, irrespective of external circumstances. It means celebrating God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love, even when life’s challenges weigh heavily on us. This type of joy is not dependent on our situation but is rooted in the eternal and unchanging nature of God. By rejoicing in the Lord, we anchor our hearts in the assurance that God is in control, and that His plans for us are good, even when we can’t see the full picture. This joy is an expression of our trust in God’s sovereignty and a reflection of our hope in His promises.

What Does It Mean To Rejoice In The Lord?

Understanding Joy in Christ

Joy in Christ is not just an emotion; it’s a deep, abiding sense of peace and fulfillment that comes from knowing and trusting in God. Unlike worldly happiness, which is often tied to external circumstances, the joy found in Christ is rooted in the unchanging nature of God’s love and promises. This joy persists even in the face of trials and tribulations because it is grounded in the assurance that God is in control.

Biblical Perspective on Rejoicing

The Bible repeatedly calls believers to rejoice in the Lord, with Philippians 4:4 being one of the most cited verses: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” This command is not about ignoring life’s hardships or forcing a smile when we’re hurting. Instead, it’s an invitation to shift our focus from our problems to God’s greatness. Rejoicing in the Lord is an act of faith, acknowledging that God’s goodness and sovereignty outweigh any of life’s challenges.

Understanding Christian Joy

Christian joy is an expression of faith. It’s the result of trusting God’s plan, even when life doesn’t go as expected. By rejoicing in the Lord, we not only honor Him but also fortify our hearts against despair. This joy is a testament to our confidence in God’s eternal plan and His unchanging love. It’s about letting go of control and allowing God to fill our hearts with His peace.

Practical Ways to Rejoice in the Lord

  1. Daily Prayer and Thanksgiving: Begin each day by thanking God for His blessings. This practice shifts your focus from what you lack to the abundance of God’s grace. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
  2. Meditate on Scripture: Reflect on Bible verses that emphasize God’s promises and faithfulness. This will reinforce your trust in Him and fill your heart with joy. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105)
  3. Worship Regularly: Engage in worship, both individually and in community. Worship is a powerful way to connect with God and express your joy in Him.
  4. Share Your Joy: Talk about your faith with others. Sharing the joy you find in Christ can inspire and uplift those around you.

Rejoicing in the Lord is not just a command; it’s a pathway to spiritual strength and peace. By embracing this joy, we align our hearts with God’s will, finding contentment and hope in His promises. Let us strive to rejoice in the Lord always, allowing His joy to fill our lives and transform our hearts.

Want to experience deeper joy in your life? Check out my book that’s designed to help you rejoice in the Lord every day.

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Learning to Pray: 10 Thought-Starters On Praying Effectively

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Prayer is an essential part of our day as believers and our spiritual journey. It’s the way we talk to God. And it leads to God working in our lives and in the world. But even when you’ve set aside time, it’s not always easy to know how to pray effectively. 

What should I say? Is God really listening? These are some of the questions that can invade your mind when you start to pray. 

10 Tips to Pray Effectively 


1. Have faith

It can be hard to speak or think towards God when you can’t feel His presence. But you can’t wait for His presence to call out to Him. If we could see God or hear His voice out loud, if He explained every detail and answered every question and prayer immediately, it would no longer require faith. It would take no trust and no relationship. And that’s what God is looking for in His sons and daughters. 

2. Learning to pray daily

When we’re immature in our spiritual journey, we only pray to God when we’re in trouble or we want something. Of course, God loves to help us and give us gifts. But can you imagine how you would feel if your friend or son called you once a year just to ask you for something? We pray daily to build our relationship with God and get closer to Him. And learning to pray effectively helps us get closer to him.

3. Listen

Whenever I’m reading or studying the Bible, or using a devotion book, I ask the Father what He wants to say to me. I highlight the words and phrases that speak to me, and put bullet points in the margins for messages, principles or prayers He gives me. I use a journal to ask God questions and prayer I’m waiting for an answer to. 

4. Follow Jesus’s example

Jesus based his earthly life on connecting to and receiving love from His Father. He invested time in His relationship with His Father in knowing Scripture and in getting alone for solitude and prayer. He humbly chose to be publicly baptized by His cousin John and courageously chose to face the most intense temptation during 40 days in the wilderness.

5. Follow Jesus’ teaching

Jesus taught people to connect to His Father’s presence and love in prayer by learning to pray. During his most comprehensive recorded teaching (called the Sermon on the Mount), Jesus gave an invitation to all of us to connect directly to God and told us how to pray effectively. First off, He tells us what not to do. 

6. How not to pray

During his teaching, Jesus tells us not to pray in public or to babble like pagans, but to pray in secret instead. Basically, Jesus is advising us to make sure we’re praying for the right reasons—not to be thinking about how we’re viewed by others or by ourselves. It’s an easy trap to fall into, bringing you down the pitfalls of self-righteousness. Learning to pray helps us avoid how not to pray.

7. How to pray effectively

Jesus goes on to tell us how we should pray by teaching us the Lord’s Prayer. If you grew up going to church, you likely know the prayer well. But if you break down the elements of the prayer, you can follow Jesus’ directions in a more conversational way, instead of just reciting words to God. 

First, Jesus recognizes God as His Father. He gives up his own plans for the future to rely on God’s will, His perfect plan. That also includes our trust in God to take care of us (our daily bread) and His protection of us from temptation and Satan. Finally, He tells us to seek forgiveness from God, but to make sure we’ve forgiven others before we do so. 

8. Forgive others before asking for forgiveness for yourself

After teaching the prayer, Jesus advises, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others for their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

9. Put God in charge

Let’s go back to that second point of the Lord’s prayer: “Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” We must stop striving to run our lives and start taking the greatest step of all, to turn over ownership to God. The work to move me out of the way so God will work is prayer. Prayer is the greatest work because it invites God to do the work.

10. Learning to pray rightly

Understanding and learning God’s will is key to praying effectively. It shows us what is worth praying for, because it’s within God’s will. It could be asking God for an opportunity to bless others or share His gospel. Whatever it is, it will be something that brings glory to God.

 

Want to take these prayers into your friendships? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

 

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Christian Men’s Group for Deeper Friendship

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Once you’ve been a part of a good Christian men’s group, you realize there’s nothing else like it in our culture. Some are Bible studies for men; others are Christian groups based around a shared interest, like fishing or football. At the end of the day, it’s as simple as getting a group of guys together, what I call a “Men’s Huddle,” and allowing yourselves to open up to each other and spend time with God.  You might think, “That sounds great, Jeff, but I have a job and a family. I go to Church. I don’t have time for a men’s group.” Ok, I hear you. Let me give you five reasons you need a Christian men’s group in your life.   

Men need to break out of their isolation.

Our culture keeps us busy and working toward what we don’t yet have. Even if you have a picture-perfect family life, you need friends. You probably miss spending time with a group of guys, like you did in school or on a team. If you feel lonely, you’re not alone. One in three men suffer from loneliness, and it’s taking years off their lives.  By simply putting yourself out there and joining a men’s group, you’re addressing a big issue that many men don’t realize is eating away at them.   

Men need a place to be authentic.

Men don’t try to break out of isolation because they’ve been conditioned not to admit fault or show weakness. But being vulnerable strengthens us.  A solid Christian men’s group allows you to be your authentic self without fear of being deemed weak or judged for your faults. You won’t believe the burden that’s lifted when you experience this kind of support.   

Men need deep friendships. 

By opening yourself up to a small men’s group, you build stronger bonds with your fellow members than you could anywhere else.  Some of the best Christian men’s groups consist of a handful of close friends who have made the intentional choice to be there for each other, commit themselves to consistent meetings and deepen their friendships. You’re not just a men’s group anymore. You’re a brotherhood going through life together.   

Men need accountability. 

We all have secret thoughts and behaviors that we hide from others—partly out of pride and partly out of shame (two of Satan’s most destructive tools).  But once you have a group who you can trust to be open with, you can shine a light on the things you’ve allowed to grow in the darkness. You don’t have to deal with it all by yourself anymore—such a weight is lifted! This accountability will sustain you through the worst of life’s blitzes—what I call those times of great challenges that provide opportunities for great growth.  

Most of all, men need to be like Jesus

—and need other men in their lives to encourage them and show them how. Jesus is the main focus of a transformative Christian men’s group. A team of like-minded believers is one of the keys to unlocking spiritual growth.  Not only will you spend time studying His Word and perfect example—He’ll also be a part of it as you pray to Him. Jesus had His own men’s group during His life as a man on earth. And, with His disciples, Jesus modeled His perfect solution to all the needs listed above.  He brought them out of their busy lives into a group with the most important mission of all time—to bring salvation to humanity. He fostered a group of authenticity, deep friendship, and accountability. And He taught them how to be a son to their Heavenly Father and encouraged them every day.   

Build Deeper Friendship with MenHuddle.

If you’re looking to deepen friendship and mutual mentoring, check out the PLAYBOOK FOR LEVEL 5 FRIENDSHIP—a guide that will help you connect with other men in a meaningful way and catalyze spiritual growth in each other’s lives.
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How to Find Friends and Develop Deep Connections

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We’re taught how to do a lot of things growing up. How to tie your shoes, ride a bike and throw a football… But were you ever taught how to find friends? 

Nowadays, people are feeling more isolated than ever. A striking 76% of men “don’t have a close and trusted friend they can share anything with on any topic,” reports a 2021 Perspectives Survey by The Survey Center on American Life. 

Part of it is the natural progression of life. We grow up, get married and have kids, creating meaningful new relationships that require tons of time and attention. Too often, friendships go by the wayside. 

Then, when you realize friendship is missing from your life, you don’t know how to find friends. It just came naturally when you were growing up. You didn’t need tips for finding friends. You just met kids in your neighborhood or in the classroom. Maybe you made a bunch by joining a club or playing sports. 

Whatever it was, you felt like you belonged on the team. So why leave the joys of teamwork in the past?

 

Four Tips on How to Find Friends

 

1. Join a club or volunteer organization based on one of your interests. 

I started playing sports at a young age and quickly enjoyed the bonds of friendship. I was lucky enough to play football in high school, college, and the NFL. It pretty much guaranteed a close-knit group of buddies—the kind that spent every day together and had a shared mission that bonded us through both victory and defeat. 

My advice? Pick something with a purpose. In my 30 years of focusing on teamwork, I’ve found that working toward something forges true friendships faster.

 

2. Reconnect with an old friend in a meaningful way. 

In the age of super-connectivity and social media, it’s easy to think we’re keeping up with our social lives. We look on Facebook or Instagram and have a superficial, one-way relationship with the friends in our feeds. 

You might think, “I don’t know how to find friends in this modern age.”

Do it the old-fashioned way. Take some time out of your day to call an old friend and find out about what’s happening in his life. Find out how he’s doing deep down.

Really, it all comes down to how much you’re willing to invest.  

Over 2,000 years ago, Jesus showed us how to find friends and develop them. He was intentional in choosing his friends. And He had strong, close friendships with them, largely because He invested in them and helped them grow. He gave them attention and help. He challenged them and encouraged them. 

 

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:12-13). 

 

Many men have been conditioned to take as much as they can and give very little. Jesus gave, and gave, and gave. 

 

3. Remember that everyone is looking for connection.

All the best investors are comfortable with a little bit of risk. You will likely have to do the same to make new friends. It’s possible that you’ll be the one who strikes up a conversation at your kid’s school event or put yourself out there and invite someone out for coffee. 

You should know that the odds are in your favor. There is something called the liking gap—the difference between how much we think a stranger likes us and how much they actually do after one conversation. Good news, people are more liked than they think. 

Everyone wants to know how to find friends. Sometimes, it just takes one person going out of their comfort zone.

 

4. Be a long-term investor and be real. 

Most importantly, you’ll need to be in it for the long run, like any good investor. You’ll invest your time, effort, and attention over the years—everything from helping a friend move to listening to the challenges going on in his life. You’ll have to sacrifice that perfect version of yourself that you’re always trying to present (I know I did) and share your own struggles. 

That’s how to find friends that will really make a difference in your life.

 

Build Deeper Connections with MenHuddle.

When a small group of good, intentional friends (I call it a MenHuddle) share every aspiration and confession, our insecurities, doubts, and limitations disappear. Remember, there is more strength in the unity of three (Ecclesiastes 4:12). What’s next? Time to take these tips for finding friends and forge a new friendship.

 

If you’re ready to enjoy the full, transformative power of friendship, download the Men Huddle QuickStart. 

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Will Daddy Be at My Whole Birthday Party? | Facing Your Blitz Weekly Video Devotion

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My wife and I organized a cool backyard birthday party for our 5 year old son Kolby. I ran all the outdoor games and relay races. I had them crawling under army camouflage netting, flopping over hammocks and running around obstacles. It was serious boy fun.

About half way thru the party though, I had to hug Kolby goodbye, rush in the house, grab my pre packed suitcase and head off to the airport for a speech. Half a year later, with no prompting and out of the blue, Kolby posed a question he had been pondering to my wife Stacy, “Mommy, when I have my birthday party this year, will daddy be there for the whole party?”

Dads… We don’t have to be there all the time, or at everything event. But we do need to know how much it matters to them! We need to keep our word and make the special efforts.

You are the only dad they have and you are a champion to them. Be honest, Be real, be present, be intentional. Dads, I honor you and the huge impact you make.

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Start the Healing | Father’s Day Video Series

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Most all of us have a father wound of some sort or another, especially in our society with so many missing dads and fragmented families. Admitting that pain is the first step to moving past it. As soon as we do that, we can do something about it.

I learned a lot about this from my former teammate on the Seattle Seahawks, Steve Largent. Steve’s dad divorced his mom and left the family when Steve was little. For years Steve buried the pain of the wound and channeled it into his heroic work ethic and football success. Bitterness was natural…and it only increased when his dad, who had been painfully absent for decades, finally reached out to Steve one year when the Seahawks made the playoffs. His dad wanted tickets. Steve was hurt and bitter.

But, Steve’s faith in Jesus compelled him to keep growing as a person, and that meant healing relationships. Finally, a couple years later Steve initiated the healing. He approached his dad and took the road less travelled. He actually apologized to his dad for his own shortcomings and lack of respect as a son. His dad apologized as well and a father son relationship started healing from the wounds of the past. Don’t wait for your dad or son to apologize. Lead the way with an apology for anything on your end. Choose to forgive and start anew today. Face your blitz.

 

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DeflateGate, Egos and Doing the Right Thing

Jeff Kemp originally wrote this for the Stepping Up blog which appeared May 15, 2015.

Few quarterbacks have dominated the NFL like Tom Brady. In his 13 full seasons, he has led the New England Patriots to four Super Bowl titles.  What he may lack in raw talent, he makes up for in hard work. He watches lots of game film and pays attention to detail on and off the field, which is a common character quality of someone who performs at the highest level like he does.

But now the reputation of the reigning Super Bowl MVP is tarnished, with the league recently announcing that he will be suspended for the first four games of the upcoming season for participating in the deflating of footballs in the first half of the AFC championship game.

Breaking the rules, as the NFL has claimed, may not have been the most damaging thing Tom Brady did. He may not have even been suspended if he had admitted early on to his involvement (whatever that was) and apologized to the league for his indiscretion.  Instead he allowed his agent to speak for him and deny even knowing of a scandal.

But after spending months reviewing the evidence surrounding the “DeflateGate” scandal, the NFL found enough in text messages to confidently say that Brady was involved in some way. And now public opinion has turned against him, with about 70 percent of avid football fans believing Brady cheated.

Let’s face it: if you don’t take the blame for your own mistakes (as small or as big as they may be) other people will spend their time, effort, and energy putting the blame on you. I learned that lesson in my last year with the Seattle Seahawks and gained a great appreciation for the importance of accepting responsibility. Even though I wasn’t involved in a cheating scandal or at the center of some controversy, the incident did involve my integrity.

I was the starting quarterback with the Seattle Seahawks and we had just suffered a 20-13 loss in an important game with Kansas City. In press interviews after the game, rather than own up to my shortcomings, I chose to play the optimist. “We’re going to do better next week; we’re going to turn the corner and go forward.”

It wasn’t until later in the week that I realized the damage that I had done. Eugene Robinson, a great friend and teammate, came up to me and told me privately, “Dude, a bunch of the coaches and defensive guys are questioning whether you’re a stand-up guy or an excuse maker. They don’t think you’re owning up to your responsibility for that loss.”

Their criticism wasn’t aimed at my skills or performance, but at who I am—my character. As I wrote in my book, Facing the Blitz:

They thought that, in my optimism, I’d left the blame with the team instead of taking my part in it. Not only had I contributed to the loss, it seemed I wasn’t being an accountable and trustworthy leader.

I felt misread and misjudged. I decided to talk privately to a couple of the defensive coaches who reportedly held these concerns. I told them I was my own worst critic and knew I’d fallen way short of what we needed to win. I knew I’d played a major role in our loss. … My team wanted to hear that I understood my role in our loss. My play wasn’t the only reason we lost, but they needed to see that, first, I got it, and second, I was willing to take the heat, not simply leave it with my teammates and coaches.

The bottom-line issue isn’t the results of your actions as much as what it says about your character. Whether it’s me playing down my part in a loss or Tom Brady refusing to admit even an awareness of the team fudging on league rules, the ends still don’t justify the means.

Another NFL great quarterback recently weighed in on the “DeflateGate” controversy. Brett Favre believes that even if Tom Brady broke the rules it wasn’t really cheating because it didn’t affect the outcome of the game. He was just doing what everyone else does—trying to get a competitive edge.

A common philosophy in the world, and in the world of professional sports is, “If you’re not getting caught every once in a while, you’re not working hard enough.” It’s ironic that someone as good as Brady would feel a need to do something that has so little impact on the outcome of the game to gain a competitive advantage.

Deflating your ego

Maybe an even bigger issue is what happens when you make it to the top of the heap, or the top of the league. You begin to believe the hype that everything depends on you. You may even begin to see yourself as a special case. You then justify actions that for most everyday people would be indefensible.

American society invites a pride and hubris in its successful people, and that is reflected in how Tom Brady and his agent have continued to oppose the NFL investigation. Pride and hubris aren’t attractive to the public. Pride lets you think you can do things differently because you think you are special. It’s easy to get sidetracked when you’re in the spotlight and when you’re trying to keep up expectations as the being the best. But Scripture brings us back to reality:

[Tweet “Issues like “DeflateGate” help us check our own character to see if we are cutting corners, cheating, or taking ethical shortcuts. And it’s a great opportunity to teach our kids valuable lessons about integrity and humility.”]

“Pride comes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before the fall.”—Proverbs 16:18

“Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules.”—2 Timothy 2:5

But then there’s another scriptural reminder than keeps us from pointing the finger too much at others.

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”—Galatians 6:1

My teammate Eugene Robinson helped me to open my eyes and see the impact of my actions. Issues like “DeflateGate” help us check our own character to see if we are cutting corners, cheating, or taking ethical shortcuts. And it’s a great opportunity to teach our kids valuable lessons about integrity and humility.

The above post was first seen in the Stepping Up blog, written by Jeff Kemp

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