7 Bible Verses About Men’s Fellowship in the Bible

Friendship is a treasure. Unfortunately, for many of us, it’s a hidden treasure, because we’ve invested so little in it. So little time. So little of our effort. Like everything meaningful, the Bible offers wisdom on men’s fellowship, showing us how to bring it into our own lives and enjoy its life-changing effects.

Here are some of the key Bible verses about men’s fellowship in the Bible.

What Does the Bible Say About Christian Men’s Fellowship? 

“I have called you friends because all things, whatsoever I have heard of my Father, I have made known to you” – John 5:15

I love how this scripture gives us a glimpse into the daily lives of the 12 disciples. It’s like Jesus saying, “You know how I’ve been calling you all friends?” How cool is that? And the proof of friendship he gives is the knowledge of God that He’s passed down to the Father. It’s the perfect blueprint for the men’s fellowship, even in this modern age: a group of men coming around Jesus to learn about the Father.

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” – Matthew 18:20

It’s important to recognize Jesus’ presence at your men’s gatherings. He’s central to everything we do; when we gather in His name, He becomes the center of our time together. And spending quality time as a group with Jesus helps us become more like Him.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another” – Hebrews 10:24-25

Gathering together can’t be something we do infrequently as a men’s fellowship. The Bible calls us to be consistent, to meet together often so that we can make a real impact on each other’s lives with encouragement.

“You are my friends if you do what I command” – John 15:14

Have you ever had a friend challenge you to be better? To do what you need to do? I sure have, on the field as a quarterback and in life. Every friendship has expectations, and our friendship with Jesus is no different. Jesus’ expectation for us to obey God’s will. That doesn’t mean we order each other around. Instead, that means uphold ourselves and each other, without judgment, to the commandments of God.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pay for each other so that you may be healed.” – James 5:16

It’s not easy for guys to admit fault or show weakness, but that’s what God wants us to do. But instead harboring and hiding our insecurities, only letting them grow, confessing our sins in a safe space with a group of guys who have your back will bring them out into the light where they can be confronted. It’s not just about holding each other accountable either. Our prayers, the Bible says, will help our brothers heal.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” – Romans 12:10

Guys aren’t always the best at showing love for each other, but God requires devotion. When was the last time you proved your devotion to a friend? Jesus proved His again and again, always putting his disciples first. Remember how He, the son of God, washed their feet on the last night before His death.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” – Colossians 3:13

It’s not always easy to forgive but God asks us to remember that He has forgiven all of our sins through the sacrifice of His son, Jesus. Conflict is inevitable, but fellowship, we must find reconciliation and see it as an opportunity for us to overcome a challenge, which only makes our bonds stronger.  

I hope these verses remind you of the importance of our Biblical brotherhood and inspire you with the spiritual growth that’s possible through fellowship. As we strive to follow God’s Word and become more like Jesus, we can create powerful friendships rooted in faith.

 

Looking for the next step in Christian men’s fellowship? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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15 Bible Verses About Identity

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One of the most important questions to answer accurately in your lifetime is “Who am I?” The world will compel you to rank yourself among others. You’ll also get subjective opinions from family, friends, acquaintances and even yourself. But what does the Bible say about identity? What bible verses about identity is there ?

The fundamental nature of who you are is objective and unchanging, rooted in the most solid foundation: who God is. 

Identity In The Bible

What Are Bible Verses About Identity?

Here are 3 important verses to start with.

1. “Your works are wonderful I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!” (Psalm 139:14-17).

Start from your own beginning. It’s easy to look at a majestic mountain range and see the beauty of God’s craftsmanship. But sometimes we forget that we, too, are among God’s beautiful works. And not just humanity in general, but you. Our God is not a distant God. He has intimate knowledge of you, has plans for you and knows everything that will happen in your life.

2. “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:4-8).

Have you ever felt disqualified from being loved by God? This verse tells us no amount of background, trauma, failure or sin is greater than God’s limitless grace. We are chosen, rescued, forgiven, eternally saved, changed and guaranteed a secure future in His family and Kingdom. You don’t have to do anything to earn your place—except to believe! In fact, you can’t take any credit because God does it all. Surrendering to this truth, your true identity in Christ, will bring you the greatest assurance and peace.

3. “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty” (2 Corinthians 6:18).

Throughout the New Testament, God is called our father and believers are referred to as his children, or adopted sons and daughters. What does that mean? For one, we’re meant to model our relationship to God after Jesus, the son, who exemplified the perfect relationship to God, the father. It’s a relationship of total trust, caring, closeness and devotion. And, secondly, we enjoy all the benefits of an “heir” of God (Romans 8, Galatians 4), receiving the inheritance of God’s love, grace and eternal life.

 

Bible Verses That Reveal Our Identity in Christ

Ready to dive deeper? Here are more bible verses about identity:

4. ” Created in God’s image and likeness ” (Genesis 1:26-27, 5:1-2).

5. ” Named and commissioned ” (Judges 6:12).

6. ” Jesus’ friend ” (John 15:15).

7. ” United with the Lord ” (1 Corinthians 6:17).

8. ” Purchased at a high price and God’s possession ” (1 Corinthians 12:27).

9. ” Credited with & made righteous with Jesus’ righteousness ” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

10.”  In direct connection with God ” (Ephesians 2:18).

11. ” Complete in Christ ” (Colossians 2:10).

12. ” Inseparable from God’s love ” (Romans 8:35-39).

13. ” Destined and guaranteed to be conformed to Christ’s Image ” (Romans 8:29).

14. ” A citizen of heaven ” (Philippians 3:20).

15. ” An ambassador for Christ ” (2 Corinthians 5:20).

 

In a world that often pressures us to define ourselves by fleeting standards and shifting opinions, the Bible offers a grounding and unchanging truth about our identity. They remind us that God defines our worth as infinite and that our purpose is of cosmic importance. As you read study these bible verses about identity, let their truths replace any misconceptions about yourself or God and give you the courage to be real with your wife, your friends and yourself.

 

Want to unlock deep friendship? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today. 

 

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Best Ways Of Removing Pride Biblically

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We guys have a pride issue and it crops up in all kinds of ways. Luckily, God offers grace when we give up our prideful ways and Jesus gives us the perfect example of how to give it up and learn the ways of removing pride.

Our culture promotes pride. Why give it up? Show off that huge house or fancy car so everyone else can notice and you can gain a big following. Or if something is going wrong, don’t admit it. Be strong, hide it, and keep soldiering on. 

But that’s not what the Bible tells us. 

3 Types of Pride and How to Get Rid of It Biblically

The Bible shows us the exact opposite of the culture—that strength comes through humility. And the only way to truly be humble is to live in the truth that every good thing comes from God. On our own, we can do nothing. 

Talking to men for years, I’ve noticed three prevalent types of pride. And I’ve seen how to stop them from taking over our lives. 

1. The pride of being special

One of the most-often loosely quoted Bible verses on pride is “Pride goes before the fall.” Even back in the days of David, before the massive nation-states and global fame, they knew how pride could affect people’s behavior, opening them up for disgrace. There are plenty of modern examples—from politicians to sports to celebrities—but the common lie at the heart of their fall is pride. It wasn’t just lust, but the idea that “I am special. I can get away with it because of my talents or status.” 

The Biblical answer to removing the pride of being special: The Bible doesn’t say, “To whom much is given, that person deserves special treatment.” It says the opposite in Luke 12:48, “To whom much is given, much will be demanded.” Our talents don’t set us apart from others—they’re meant to be used in the service of others. Think about one of the last memories Jesus gave his disciples before He saved humanity. He didn’t have them all toast Him. He washed their feet like a servant. If God on earth made it about others, then you should too. 

2. The pride of performance

A lot of well-meaning, unselfish men fall into the trap of pride through performance. They believe they can earn their own validation if they can compete better and succeed more. The problem is that it’s in relation to being better than others. In the end, you’re playing for pride.

The Biblical answer to removing the pride of performance: Receive your identity as the son of God and you won’t feel the pressure to perform for your own idea of self-actualization. (Guess what even when you succeed, that identity of being a winner is temporary—it only lasts until the next time you lose). Instead, you can perform in whatever your arena is without the pressure of earning your identity. You’re less likely to fall into the traps of pride—delusions of your own greatness, tunnel vision, irritability and blaming others and depression when you lose. Most importantly, win, lose or draw, you’ll honor your Creator. 

3. The pride of image

I’ve had friends who have suffered in silence because it seemed like the noble thing to do. Unfortunately, it was the pride of preserving their image of strength that kept them from being honest, reaching out and getting the help that they needed. In a world where image is everything, image is still unreliable. It’s difficult to maintain and keeps us from living as our true, transparent selves without removing pride.

The Biblical answer to removing the pride of image: Shaping our lives through image doesn’t work well. We weren’t meant to be image-makers, but image-bearers (Genesis 1:27). Made in God’s image, we are relational beings. When you live in the freedom of being yourself, you realize that sharing your weaknesses helps others and gives you strength. As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “[God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

That message from Paul introduces what I call the paradox of power. Through these examples, we’ve seen the weakness and insecurity of pride. On the other side is the surprising power of humility and honesty. 

These two characteristics, which Jesus exemplified perfectly, are the keys to overcoming pride biblically. 

 

Want to get deep and honest with a group of guys? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship.

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The First Step to Healing Father Wounds

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Our dads have a huge impact on our lives—for good and sometimes for worse. Whether you had an affirming dad, a neglectful dad or even an abusive dad, everyone grows up with some deficiency because of their dad. Why? Because no dad is perfect. 

As we mature, our father wounds can create insecurity, making us feel like failures or have us overcompensate with ambition. But no amount of success will fix it. Growth only comes through healing these father wounds. Here’s the good news. Everyone has access to the perfect dad—God, who designed you. He invited you to be His adopted son through you His Son. Here’s how you can embark on a journey of healing for your father wounds.

4 Steps for Healing Father Wounds

1. Understand how you started

Some of us would rather not think about the past because of some of the normal growing pains. Others escaped horrible situations. Either way, the family that raised us is where our problems start. So, as we try to move forward in our journey, it’s helpful to look back over the ground we’ve covered—by us and those who shaped us. 

Ask yourself, how has your past impacted your identity? Each of us has unique ways in which it’s made you insecure, afraid or self-conscious. Identifying the root cause is often massively important for healing father wounds. 

 

2. Look back with grace on your dad

Of course, we wish our dads had made our early years easier—if dad had been there, if mom and dad’s relationship was healthier or if they’d engaged more in developing us from a boy into an emerging man. But no one has a perfect family and our parents’ childhood wasn’t either. Theirs may have been just as painful and deficient as ours, maybe more. 

So, without dwelling on the past or holding onto resentment, look back with grace on your dad and your own upbringing.

 

3. Offer forgiveness to your dad

It can be hard to change the behaviors and attitudes connected to our father wounds when the pain and feeling of being wronged is still there. But when you acknowledge Jesus as your savior, you receive forgiveness for all the sins you’ve ever committed or will commit because of Jesus’ sacrifice. 

We’re also given the power of forgiveness to bestow upon others. Jesus instructs us to pray, “Forgive us the wrongs we have done as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us” (Matt. 6:12). 

It might feel like you’re giving your dad a gift he doesn’t deserve. He might not acknowledge how he’s wronged you or ever asked for your forgiveness. But forgiveness is a gift for the one who forgives. It allows you to move on from your role as a victim as God heals your father wounds. 

 

4. Let God heal your father wounds and transform you

I’m not saying it will always be easy. It won’t. But as you forgive your dad, you can look at all the pain or deficiencies your dad caused without so much heaviness. You can offer them up to God. You’ll receive peace and confidence with your true identity as an adopted son of God. 

Another way to transform this wound into a positive thing is by sharing it with your close group of guy friends. As men, we usually hide our vulnerabilities from each other. But you never know what another guy might have gone through or is currently going through. Your sharing could help him know he’s not alone or even give him guidance to help heal his father wound. 

 

Want to know how to create a space for guys to talk about their father wounds? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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How to Bless Others

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We live in a self-centered, me-focused culture. Men especially are told to get the most out of life, make their money go further, and use their networks to get a better job. The fact that you’re looking for how to bless others shows that you realize it’s all about giving.

 

Why should we learn how to bless others?

Ephesians 1:3 tells followers of Jesus that God has “blessed us in heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” And because we’ve been blessed so generously by God, we have a lot to give others. As 2nd Corinthians 9:11 says, we are “enriched in every way so that we can be generous on every occasion.”

 

Matthew 10:8 puts these ideas together into one simple, powerful command: “Freely you have received; freely give.” 

 

What is a Blessing?

I have described receiving God’s blessing before. His blessings are any kindness, mercy or good thing that comes from God. To bless others is to extend those good things from God. 

 

But even if you want to bless others, you might not know how to go about it—especially as a man. A lot of us have been taught to bottle our feelings up and not show any weaknesses. It can be harder to see a need in other guys and bless them with the kindness they need. That’s why it’s so important for men to open up and find intentional friendship. Ask God every day and stay on the lookout for opportunities to bless others.  

 

Biblical Ideas About Blessings

  1. Bear spiritual fruit: In John 15:5, Jesus uses the metaphor of a vine and branches to describe how believers cannot do anything unless they “remain in him.” By relying on God and keeping him at the center of our focus, God will use us to produce good things. Referencing this scripture, Paul summarizes the fruit of the spirit as “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). The moral? Focus on God and watch him transform your relationships with others.
  2. God’s standard of loving others: In our world, people have a whole lot of justifications for why they treat others badly (“they started it” or “they deserved it,” sound familiar?). But Jesus tells us to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This essential piece of advice can guide as we navigate conflict with friends, family and strangers. Denying your natural inclination to be selfish or respond harshly and choosing graciousness and love can be a big blessing in difficult situations—when it matters most, you could say. But Jesus calls us to an even higher standard when He gives us His new commandment, “Love others, as I have loved you.” That means why must study His perfect example, and try our best to carry it out for others.
  3. Take care of those in need. Whether it’s friends or family or a stranger, God expects us to treat those in need as if they were Jesus Himself. As Matthew 25:36-40 explains, He will tell the righteous, “I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’… Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” 

 

10 Ways to Bless Others

  1. Be intentional about spending time with someone. 
  2. Volunteer your time, attention and effort by serving the needy or the homeless community.
  3. Ask God to put someone on your heart and pray for that person. 
  4. Give a friend or loved one a ride to the airport. 
  5. Be encouraging with your words—tell someone that you are proud of them. 
  6. Serve someone their favorite meal. 
  7. Bring a hot drink on a cold day (or a cold drink on a hot day). 
  8. Ask someone about their day and really listen to their answer. Alleviate any burdens by sharing your own struggles or offering words of encouragement. 
  9. Pay close attention to what someone likes—then surprise them by getting it for them without them asking. 
  10. Go with someone to a doctor’s appointment (or any event) that they’re nervous about for support. 

 

Do you want to bless your friends and let God deepen your relationships? Get my free gift and download my Playbook for Level 5 Friendship. 

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Why You Should Care About Friendship

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Why do I care about friendship? Because we are made and adopted by God to thrive in relationships with others. But that requires a tight team of intentional brothers, consistently connected Level 5 Friends. Today, men are being blitzed by father wounds, identity insecurity and masculinity confusion/bashing. We’re attacked by everything from a cut-throat culture to the digital poisoning of porn. 

 

Just like in football, these blitzes offer opportunity for God to bring us together—to Him and to a brotherhood of real men. Our challenge is not just the loneliness caused by eroded community ties and the isolating forces of the economy and social media. Tragically, the word masculinity, which means strength that protects the vulnerable, comes with baggage after the #MeToo movement called out men’s self-centered abuse of power.

 

But this is why we need to revive the high standard of manhood—manhood in the model of Jesus, the quintessential man. He lived a masculinity that humbly depended on His Father and courageously channeled His strength for the weak, oppressed and particularly for the exploited women. He turned the world upside down through radical obedience to His Father and lifestyle of coming alongside flawed, driven men who wanted His greater calling. 

 

The way to pull ourselves out of our small and damaged subjective narratives and isolating echo chamber is through something fun that we actually want. But, it’s something the enemy has convinced us to fear—deep, transparent friendship. It’s time for life-giving camaraderie, transforming teamwork and channeling our strengths for good.

 

God wants you to have real friendship.

Men need friendship. We’re made in God’s image and He is a relational being. He instructs us to bear one another’s burdens, share one another’s joys, grieve together in our losses, and confess our weakness—our temptations, struggles and failures (sins) so we can heal and grow stronger. Men need close friendships with other guys because they can relate—they have the same dreams, vulnerabilities and struggles.

 

There are many kinds of friendships, but the best is not often practiced by enough men. Level 5 represents the life-giving commitment and men-transforming relational depth that we’re designed to live.

 

Level 5 – Deep Friendship – This friendship makes you better. It adds a purposeful commitment to loyally and consistently connect. You process your lives, disclose struggles, encourage and pray for each other, confess sins and erase secrets, benefit from accountability and pull each other closer to God. We’ve unpacked that kind of friendship in the last two posts. Let’s wrap up by tackling a few things that stop most guys from investing consistent time in developing intentional friendships.

 

3 Gut-Level Objections You Can Overcome

  1. Not Another Meeting. The easy excuse is “I’m too busy and can’t fit another meeting into my busy life.” Answer: It’s friendship, not a meeting. Could you fit in 60 minutes a week for enjoyable friendship that improves your marriage, family and work life?
  2. Will I get exposed? You may have been burned before. Maybe you’re afraid of being exposed as a failure or of having your private junk become public. You’re not alone, but if each friend agrees to be loyal, confidential and not a life guru trying to fix you, you’ll feel the freedom to be real and let your friends help you transform your life.
  3. I can’t lead it. You’re not supposed to. It’s friendship, not a small group or teaching assignment. It’s we, not you and them. It’s not impressing, critiquing or fixing each other. You simply lean into a couple friends, clearly propose it and help the huddling together get started.

 

We Have the Perfect Model Friend: Jesus

Jesus will guide and help you with this friendship. Jesus built deep friendships. He shared meals, grilled over campfires, and took his friends on intense boating adventures. Jesus showed up at their work and walked with guys. He set up quiet retreats in the hills and a special farewell dinner. Before eating, Jesus, the leader of leaders, shocked his friends with a radical move. He stepped back from his spot near the head of the table, knelt at their feet, took a bowl of water and towel and washed their grimy feet. Jesus loved and led in the most faithful way possible—he served.

 

We may not have to watch the dusty sandals of our friends like Jesus did, but we can be authentic men. We thrive most when we make friendship a priority and create memorable experiences to connect with a group of guys. Together, we can follow Jesus’s example. Better yet, we can let Jesus transform everything in our lives, including our friendships.

 

Start deeper friendship today. Download the Level 5 Friendship Playbook and talk with a friend or two about taking your friendship to the highest level.

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Men’s Group Bible Study: 5 Tools to Help Along the Way

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At some point in your journey as a man, you realize that you can’t do it alone. You need God for everything and for Jesus to show you the way. You also figure out, hopefully, sooner rather than later, that you need a men’s group Bible study—a group of guys coming together to study the Word and bring Jesus into every area of their lives.

 

How to Get Started with Men’s Group Bible Studies

Even when you know you need a men’s Bible study, it can be tough to get things off the ground. What parts of the Bible should we start with? How do we structure it? What other materials should we read to bring understanding and meaning to reading the Bible? That’s where resources for a men’s group Bible study can be super helpful.

The resources outlined below encompass a spectrum of teachings, discussions, content, and tools designed to foster spiritual growth, strengthen relationships and friendships, and empower men to navigate life with faith and conviction. I’m confident you’ll find something that fits your group of guys and their stage of spiritual development.

 

5 Resources for a Men’s Group Bible Study

1. Playbook for Level 5 Friendship

I’m starting with my own (free) ebook even though it’s not designed for starting a men’s group bible study. There’s no shortage of excellent studies out there to dig your teeth into, but I found that men were having a hard time being open and going deep with each other (what I call Level 5 Friendship). It’s a quick read with step-by-step instructions. You’ll find practical tips on how to build deeper friendships with 2-3 guys looking to feel accepted and supported as they process their lives together and improve as men. Of course, time in God’s Word will come out of this huddling time together–even though that is not its main purpose.

I’d even argue that just starting a men’s group is not enough; men need deep, authentic, self-disclosing friendships in order to grow as sons of God and men. That’s what Huddling and building to Level 5 Friendship will provide.

 

2. BetterMan

Nowadays, men are confused by their masculinity. BetterMan is “calling men back to God’s good and timeless design for men.” To achieve this mission, they’ve created The BetterMan Curriculum, which provides weekly pre-recorded videos, workbooks, discussion questions, and more. It’s a great resource for men’s Bible study, helping men be confident in their masculinity and improving their relationships, marriages, families and churches. You can learn more and get instant access here.

 

3. The Purpose Driven Life

This classic book from pastor Rich Warren is a fantastic exploration of the question, “What am I here for?” Nearly all men come to a point in their lives where they question the meaning of life and their place in it—especially if they’ve been led astray by the world’s idea of significance. The Purpose Driven Life teaches you how to know yourself and your creator. It’s great content for a men’s group Bible study because it’s designed as a 40-day personal spiritual journey. You can come together on a weekly basis and discuss each member’s response and help them find their purpose.

 

4. Experiencing God

The last thing you want for your men’s group Bible study is for it to become one more thing to check off the list of things a Christian should do. You can’t simply go through the motions. Experiencing God is a wonderful video series that’s designed to “awaken believers to a radically God-centered way of life.” It challenges you to respond to God’s invitation to all of us—to know Him and His ways.

 

5. Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men

I wrote Receive to outline the principle of receiving your identity as a man from God for two reasons. For one, society has misled men to believe they must earn their manhood when the Bible tells us we must receive it from God through Jesus. Secondly, I wanted to define what it means to receive and how to do it. It’s full of practical advice and each chapter has a list of questions to help men’s group bible studies spark deep conversation and learn the way of Jesus for men. 

 

What does Jesus’ Perfect Example Mean for us Today?

As you embark on this journey, I hope these resources enrich your discussions, deepen faith, and foster men’s bible study dedicated to embracing Jesus in every aspect of life. Use these tools, engage in meaningful conversations, and let the pursuit of God strengthen your bond and guide you.

Want to see how Jesus’ perfect example can lead to real, meaningful friendships? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendships to get started.

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Why Letting Go of Your Ego Matters

It’s one of the most challenging things you’ll ever go up against. It’s even bigger and more dangerous than a blitzing safety. Even more difficult to decipher than a tricky coverage. It’s letting go of your ego.

Notice how I didn’t say just “ego”? Because when people say “ego,” they mean full of themselves, self-important, or over-confident. But the real definitions give us a clue about why it can be destructive—and why letting go of ego is so important.

Merriam-Webster gives a couple of definitions. One is “the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world.” The other is, “the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality.”

So, everyone has an ego (a sense of self) and has to use it to perceive reality. The trouble comes when the sense of self gets in the way of perceiving reality accurately.

Soon, your actions are determined by a need for validation and superiority, or an inability to accept criticism. It totally zaps your opportunities for deeper spiritual growth. But letting go of ego brings you closer to true self-awareness and the transformative power that brings.

5 Keys for Letting Go of Ego

  1. Be others-centered.

    When you look at well-known cases of egotism, you can’t help but wonder, “What planet is that guy on? What makes him think he can treat other people that way?” But it’s never so easy when you look in the mirror. “Why do I think I can treat my co-worker or spouse like I do at my low points? Why do I think I can get away with my selfish behavior?” Because the ego is centered on the self, it operates as though we’re different, that we’re the center of the world—against what we know to be true. Putting others’ needs ahead of your own is one of the easiest ways to let go of ego, but it’s hard to sustain alone. Reflect and pray to God that He will give you the wisdom and self-awareness to let go of your ego, navigate your blind spots, and see things from others’ perspectives.

  2. Stop the need for approval.

    We all begin searching for approval at a young age. We wonder, “What do Mom and Dad think of me? What do my siblings think of me? Am I loved here?” For young boys, Dads are key players. But even if you have a great dad, no one is perfect. Their imperfection leads to our own insecurities. We end up looking for approval from them, from peers, from bosses, from girls. The problem is once we get it, we get addicted to the feeling of recognition. It becomes our sense of self, and so the ego inflates.

  3. Receive your true identity.

    Everyone is looking for some kind of label to validate their ego. “Winning athlete,” “successful businessman,” or some other accomplishment. The problem is these identities force us to always compete with others to win them, and they’re temporary. The first time we lose or our business hits a rough patch, our self-confidence goes down the drain. The ego is wounded. That is why we must receive our true identity as a son of God. This identity is given by God and gives us all the power, peace and assurance we’ll ever need. And it’s unconditional.

  4. Remember the importance of team.

    The easiest way to let your ego go unchecked is to isolate yourself. But on a good, strong team, there’s no room for (inflated) egos. They get in the way. They stop you from healthy communication and accomplishing what you’ve been called to accomplish. Think of your marriage, your family, your men’s group, or your coworkers as a team. Have a clear goal and hold each other accountable to the standard you need to reach it.

  5. Be a servant leader.

    Jesus was the ultimate man and with the ultimate mission—to come down to earth and reconcile mankind with the Father. All of this and He wasn’t above washing the feet of his disciples. In fact, He did it to set an example. This is how you lead. You serve others. You can’t have a big ego and follow the sacrificial example set by the only perfect leader.

Stop Letting Your Ego Get in the Way.

You’ve read this far. That shows you have the will to begin the journey of letting go of your ego. You’re not too proud to learn from others. I hope you take these steps into your life to help you let go of your ego and receive your true, authentic self.

Want to start a men’s group that helps you let go of your ego? Download the Playbook for Level 5 Friendship today.

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How to Remove Fear From Your Mind and Heart

Fear is uncomfortable, isn’t it? It can mess up our relationships and our ability to carry out our purpose in life. Any man who says he doesn’t feel fear is a big faker. The trick isn’t about never feeling fear again, but learning how to remove fear from your heart and mind. 

I know all about fear. As an NFL quarterback, I had to look downfield while huge, ferocious defenders barreled down on me. Hard to keep your mind straight when that’s happening. More importantly, I had to address the fear in my heart. What I feared much more than pain or injury was not being good enough. 

And that leads me to the first step on how to remove fear from your heart and mind…

 

How to Overcome Fear in 5 Steps

 

1) Find out what you’re afraid of.

When we’re kids, it’s easier to know what you’re afraid of: the school bully, talking to the pretty girl, giving a presentation. As we get older, our awareness grows, and our feelings become more abstract and complex. A general sense of fear gnaws at us—opening up the kind of wounds we don’t like to think about. 

But if you are to learn how to remove fear from your heart and mind, you must reflect on your fears. It might take looking at your life story or examining the fearful behaviors that make you miss opportunities or act out of insecurity. Even if you know what your fear is, defining it and facing it head-on is the only way to begin. 

 

2) Be real and open.

One time in the preseason, I was thrown to the ground so hard I couldn’t remember what routes my receivers were running after I called the play. Unsurprisingly, I threw an interception two plays later. Coming back to the sideline, I admitted to my coach, “I can’t think so well.”

It took a concussion to make me honest. All too often, I acted like I had everything under control. Really, I needed to be honest with everyone including myself to ask more questions, seek mentors and improve my game.

If you want to know how to remove fear from your heart and mind, find a friend or group of friends that you trust and share your fears with them. They might have gone through the same thing so they can give advice. They could be going through it now, so you can go through it together. Or they might have their own fears. Whatever it is, you’ll know you aren’t alone.

 

3) Have a growth mindset.

In her book Mindset, Stanford professor Carol Dweck shows how people achieve amazing things when they believe in the process of hard work and develop mental resilience. How does that apply to overcoming fear? 

Learn to see discomfort as a good thing that leads to progress. If you have a hard time being vulnerable with others, put yourself out of your comfort zone knowing that it’s the only way to grow past your fear. 

In football, that concept was facing the blitz. An extra defender or two running free heightened the possibility of pain and failure, but it also presented a huge opportunity—if we could work together, the offense could get a big play. 

 

4) Challenge negative thoughts.

Fear often comes from the bad things we believe about ourselves. Eliminating these thoughts is important for overcoming fear.

Maybe you had a parent who criticized you and made you feel small or like you couldn’t do anything right. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively of yourself, look at where those thoughts come from. Whose narrative is that?

You no longer have to tell it to yourself and feed your fearful thinking. 

 

5) Ask God to affirm you.

This is the most important thing you can do to see how to remove fear from your heart and mind. Go to your perfect heavenly Dad and ask Him who you are to Him. You are His child and, through His son Jesus, He has given you the power to overcome fear and carry out the His mission for you.

 

Now you know how to remove fear from your heart and mind. Don’t worry if your fear doesn’t evaporate overnight. Overcoming fear is a journey full of spiritual growth. Be patient with yourself and know that God doesn’t expect perfection from you—He just wants a true, deep relationship with you. 

And that’s something that should make you feel secure. 

 

MenHuddle

Are you ready to be real and open with a group of friends about the fears you’re facing? Download the PLAYBOOK FOR LEVEL 5 FRIENDSHIP to get started. 

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How to Stop Being Insecure as a Man

Men don’t like to talk about it, but we face all kinds of insecurities. They fill our lives with anxiety, or we burn out trying to overcome them. Great news! You can learn how to stop being insecure and enjoy the freedom it brings. You don’t have to live this way. 

5 Steps to Stop Being Insecure

In the Book of Galatians, Chapter 5, the apostle Paul asks the church in Galatia not to live by the old law as outlined in the Old Testament. To continue the team metaphor, he’s telling them not to follow the team rulebook and think that it’s going to change the culture. 

Paul tells them they’re free from following the law but not to waste this freedom on the flesh (our selfish, pleasure-seeking desires).

 

1. Don’t get caught up in projecting an IMAGE.

Image is how we want to be perceived. It’s our brand. And eliminating our obsession with it is integral to learning how to stop being insecure.

Image had a big impact on me growing up. My dad was a successful and highly visible man. I felt that it was my legacy to be influential like him. That meant I needed a bunch of my own success to match his. I was afraid to run races or compete in wrestling matches—not because I feared the pain or getting hurt—I was afraid to lose.

I wanted to protect the image of a winner—and I went to great lengths to do so. When I couldn’t make it past second-string on our eighth-grade football team, I quit to “focus on grades.” Even as a young QB in the NFL, I didn’t reach out to veteran players for pointers so I could look cool and confident.

Image isolates you and multiplies your insecurity as a man.

 

2. Don’t compete against others for your identity.

Once you stop focusing on your image, you can put your effort into self-improvement—whether that’s on the field or at your job. This creates more confidence. 

When you have to measure your success against something, it generally means you wrongly compare yourself to others. 

There are all kinds of ways to do it. Culture tells you to compete with your bank account, muscles, or dating history. Even good, admirable characteristics like generosity or spiritual growth can become arenas of competition. 

 

3. Realize how your own expectations are feeding your insecurities.

You might be dealing with insecurity as a man because you’re competing against your expectations of yourself. 

For me, understanding this was a huge step in learning how to stop being insecure. See, I needed a script to outline exactly what I could do to achieve the success I craved. 

In my mind, following the script would ensure that I would excel as a student, as an athlete, as a friend, as a leader, and as a Christian. I would get good grades, make starting quarterback, get drafted into the NFL, be popular, and make a difference. 

Do you have an identity script? I don’t necessarily mean one that’s written down somewhere, and I don’t mean a set of goals you have for making yourself a truly better man. 

I’m referring to the stuff you think you must do in order to have value. If you don’t do them, you think of yourself as a big fat zero: Win awards. Own a bunch of stuff. Marry the pretty girl. Be the life of the party. 

You’ll wear yourself out following a script like that. You’ll never rest in your identity.

 

4. Receive your real identity as God’s son.

The Bible tells us, “God created man in his own image.” This means that who I am is found in discovering who God is.

Receiving our identity from God, who created us—and loves us—is the truth that transcends everything else about us.

It has far greater implications than our background, position, or performance. More than our looks, talents, or marital status. It can securely anchor the way we see ourselves and how we relate to others.

Being an image-bearer of God is the core of our identity, the essence of who we are and who we can become.

 

5. Be real.

It’s so much easier said than done. But if you follow the fourth step and receive your identity from God, you’ll realize that sharing your insecurities as a man instead of hiding them— is strength. It brings people together and leads to deep friendship. Because we all have insecurities—but we don’t have to deal with them on our own. 

 

Fight Insecurity with MenHuddle

Even when you know how to stop being insecure, it takes wisdom from God and friends to work through it. That’s why having a committed men’s group is so important. Check out the PLAYBOOK FOR LEVEL 5 FRIENDSHIP to get started. 

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